Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

in many countries , there numerous eldrly people live longer compared with the pest , some people belive that an aging population can be harmful for the government

others argue that may help the society

On one hand , the eldrly pepole has increase significantly specially this recent years and that can lead to several advantages .

First and formost, younger generation can learn a lot of thing from eldery pepole beacuse they have experience and wizdom in deffirent fields .

for exmple an aging population in medical fields as a veteran doctor because pepole always were loking for a highly experienced doctor.

Moreover, elderly people can provide family support by taking car of their grandchildren were there childer working .

Ultimately,elderly pepole can protect traditional culture and passed for younger generation.

on the other hand,some people argue that can creats problems to the government .

to bging with, financial burden on the gonverment , because the goverment need to burden more on elderly people for exmple pensions , healthcare,and social services .

Forthermore, smaller workers when Elderly people retired that lead to employing young people as result hepling the local economy.

finally, pressure on healthcare system eldery elderly people need to be taken and creats pressure at hospitals and that can cause a shortage of medicine .

i think that advantages of Elderly people can Outweigh the disatvantages.

in cunclotion,I strongly believe that older people have a special and valuable role in society and the government as well .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population and presents a clear position that the advantages outweighing the disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is limited and at times unclear. For instance, the point regarding medical fields and veteran doctors is underdeveloped and lacks clear explanation. Similarly, the argument about younger workers and the local economy contains confusing logic and abrupt transitions. While the main ideas are introduced, they require further extension, clearer examples, and more thorough explanation to achieve a fully developed exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays some overall organization with recognizable paragraph breaks for introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, though the structure lacks a clear overall progression. Cohesive devices are used, but they are frequently mechanical, repetitive, or inaccurate, such as 'First and formost', 'Forthermore', and 'finally'. Paragraphing is attempted, but some paragraphs are very short and abrupt, disrupting the flow of ideas. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it hard to follow the exact relationship between sentences and arguments. To improve, the writer needs to use a wider variety of cohesive links more naturally and ensure logical transitions between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. There is a frequent occurrence of spelling errors, such as 'eldrly', 'pest', 'belive', 'wizdom', 'deffirent', 'exmple', 'loking', 'car', 'childer', 'creats', 'gonverment', 'Forthermore', 'hepling', and 'cunclotion'. Word choice and word formation are often awkward, such as 'smaller workers' instead of a smaller workforce, and 'burden more on' instead of place a financial burden on. These noticeable errors and frequent spelling mistakes cause some difficulty for the reader and restrict the score to a basic level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writing demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple sentences or faulty attempts at complex ones. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('the eldrly pepole has increase'), missing articles ('in medical fields', 'on gonverment'), incorrect prepositions ('in deffirent fields'), and incorrect verb forms ('passed for younger generation' instead of passed down). Punctuation is also problematic, with spaces before commas and missing capitals at the start of sentences. These frequent errors cause significant strain and difficulty for the reader.

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