Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In today"s modern world, the issue of rising population has become inereasingly significant and is frequently debated. Some agrue that it brings several drawbacks, including higher healthcare costs, while other believe its benefits, such as experienced workforce, are far more important. Although this development is not without its challenges, I firmly support the view that the advantages greatly outweigh the disadvantages, as they provide long-term benefits for both individuals and society.

To commerce with the benefits the first and foremost key one is that experienced workforce. This means that older people have valuable knowledge and professional experience. for instance, they can train younger employees and share their expertise. Another major benefits is family support, grandparents can help with childcare and household responsibilities. for example, they may look after grandchildren while parents are at work. This advantage

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response responds to the task only minimally and fails to meet the required word count of at least 250 words, stopping abruptly at 136 words. While the writer introduces a clear position stating that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, the content is severely underdeveloped. The essay touches upon relevant ideas such as an experienced workforce and family support, but these points are cut short due to the insufficient length. Furthermore, the second body paragraph remains unfinished, halting mid-sentence and preventing any meaningful extension or support of the arguments presented. To improve, the writer must fully develop all parts of the prompt with adequate explanations and examples, ensuring the minimum length requirement is comfortably met.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation with a clear introduction that outlines the writer's stance, and transitional phrases are attempted, such as 'To commerce with'. However, overall progression is lacking because the essay is incomplete. Cohesive devices are used rather mechanically, seen in phrases like 'The first and foremost key one' and repetitive use of 'for instance' and 'for example'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the final paragraph breaks off abruptly without completion, making referencing and logical flow faulty. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to ensure that ideas are arranged coherently across fully formed paragraphs, using a wider and more natural range of cohesive devices without repetition or abrupt endings.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate for addressing the topic, featuring some appropriate terms such as 'healthcare costs', 'professional experience', and 'household responsibilities'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors, including spelling and word choice mistakes such as 'inereasingly' instead of increasingly, 'agrue' instead of argue, and the unnatural collocation 'To commerce with' instead of to commence with or to begin with. These errors indicate an attempt at less common vocabulary with resulting inaccuracies, though they do not entirely impede basic communication. To improve, the student should expand their range of vocabulary, pay closer attention to accurate spelling, and use standard collocations appropriately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting complex structures such as conditional and concessive clauses in sentences like 'Although this development is not without its challenges, I firmly support the view...'. However, there is a limited range of reliable structures, and frequent errors in grammar and punctuation appear throughout the text. Examples include punctuation errors in the opening sentence ('today"s'), missing articles ('an experienced workforce'), and minor agreement issues. Some attempts at complex sentence forms are faulty, and the abrupt ending prevents a full display of grammatical range. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to produce a greater proportion of error-free sentences and exercise better control over punctuation and basic syntactic patterns.

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