Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In numerous countries, some people think that living longer ever people creates issue for government. Another people believe that elderly people has more benefits. In this easy, I will discuse both view discuse advantage and disadvantage.

On the one hand, some citizen believe that older people population creates difficultes for governmest. The biggest disadvantage for alder people state pension and provide more health care system difficut for goverment.

On the other hand, some people think that older people has more advangtage of people because young parent has childerns care older people. older people has backbone of famiely support system and senior citizens helpful of yount generation. senior citizens provide good advice for young people and childern.

In conclution, older people has both advantages and disadvantages . The bigest advantage senior citizen provides batter advice.The bigest disadvantage older people provide pension and healthcare.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response responds to the task only minimally and fails to meet the required word count of at least 250 words, stopping well short at 142 words. While the writer attempts to address both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, the ideas are presented in a very generalised and underdeveloped manner. The position is barely outlined through repetitive phrases rather than properly argued or extended points, leading to a minimal overall response that only touches upon the prompt's core themes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays some basic organisation into separate paragraphs for the introduction, body points, and conclusion, providing a coherent overall arrangement. However, there is no clear overall progression of ideas, and cohesive devices are inadequate, repetitive, and occasionally mechanical, such as the repeated use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and while paragraphing is attempted, the transitions between sentences feel disjointed due to the lack of varied and accurate logical connectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, employing simple terms such as 'good', 'problems', and 'benefits' throughout the text. There are numerous noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling, such as 'easy' instead of essay, 'discuse' instead of discuss, 'difficultes' instead of difficulties, and 'advangtage' instead of advantage. These lexical limitations and errors often strain the reader and reflect a restricted vocabulary range suited only for very simple communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentence forms. Attempts at basic subject-verb agreement and complex structures are frequently faulty, seen in errors like 'elderly people has more benefits' and 'Another people believe'. Grammatical errors are frequent throughout the text, involving articles, plurals, and verb forms, which can occasionally cause difficulty for the reader in grasping the intended meaning.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.