Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In numerous states, the higher chances of survial rate of older people has attracte considerable attention in the community. In the numerous countries individual are now surviving greater than previous decades. Many citizens argue that an older demographic build drawbacks for admanistrations.in contrast some member of community claim that there are advantageous, if community has extra senior citizens. This eassy will examin both sides before arguing that presence of older peoples in the socity, is the key success of community but presence of older peoples have needs more care for their survival.
On of the most significant benifts of senior citizens for young generations is to help there building of bussiness by their experience. For example older peoples has knoweldge about every situation of life because they served their life in doing goverments jobs, own business,or other fields of expericences get by their seniors. Furthermore they have the knoweldgde about each country affairs or rules,so that we can easily get guidance from there life experience. For instance when our parents get older stages, we work according to there experience or guidance.
On the other side agin populations creat some dchallenges for admanistrations becase they needs extra care for surivial or maintain their healt. For example, they want some care takers to maintain there healt issues,by this reason government needs pay extra charges to there employes,that can cause budget loss of economy. Another concern is, older peoples require huge ammount of medicines by goverment that can cause huge pressure on pharmacutical compnies. For instance, compnies are restricted to make extra medicans but when shortage of medicine arise, they need to pay extra charges or time for making nedicins.it leads toward stress on government compenies. In conclusion,although older peoples on socity has certain disadvantages, i belive that its advantages outweight its drawbacks,the principal benifits are experinace amd guidance by older peoples, which have more substantial impact than the associated advantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, and a clear position is presented in the introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed. For instance, the discussion regarding business experience lacks specific supporting examples, and the points about government budgets and pharmaceutical pressures are repetitive and generalised rather than fully extended. While the writer attempts to explore both sides of the issue, the arguments lack depth and clarity in places, placing the task response at this level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different ideas, such as the benefits of senior citizens in the second paragraph and the challenges for administrations in the third. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty, with basic connectors like 'For example' and 'Furthermore' overused. Referencing is also not always clear, such as in the final paragraph where pronouns and transitions feel slightly disjointed, preventing the essay from achieving a higher level of logical progression.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. There are numerous noticeable errors in spelling, word choice, and word formation that cause difficulty for the reader throughout the text. Examples include 'survial' for survival, 'attracte' for attracted, 'admanistrations' for administrations, 'advantageous' for advantages, 'bussiness' for business, 'knoweldge' for knowledge, 'compnies' for companies, and 'medicans' for medicines. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary related to the topic, but frequent inaccuracies in spelling and collocations impede communication and restrict the score for this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple forms alongside faulty attempts at complex sentences. There are frequent grammatical errors involving verb forms, article usage, pluralisation, and prepositions within grammatical patterns. Examples include 'individual are now surviving', 'older peoples has knoweldge', 'get by their seniors', 'agin populations creat some dchallenges', 'they needs extra care', and 'government needs pay extra charges'. Punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas and periods, are also noticeable. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader.
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