Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
There is an increasing population of aged people in many countries but in my opinion they are not creating any problems for governments. The government must think the value the aged people add to our life, our country.
Aged people are the most useful asset for a country to see and run as they are the most experienced and mature people we can ever see. They have gone through so much and survived till the end ,and gained that essence of life that a person requires. They can guide us young generation through and through. They can taught us to survive and give us the best advice from their experience; they are the role model for every generation from whom we can seek knowledge, gratitude, kindness, sincerity, truthfulness, hardwork and whatnot.
I am from India, and what I have seen is that every next household are having their grandparents living with the family; they are those person who ties up the family together and teach their grandchild each and everything on how to talk and to manage a situation, how to learn few things, taking them outside ; making them ready on how to survive in this world. The very basic yet crucial chapter of our life is being taught by the grandparents only.
Atlast, I just want to say that aged population are not burden but they are crucial people in society. We need to respect and love them sincerely and also provide the greatest benefits that they deserve.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the task only partially. While you take a clear position by stating that the aging population does not create problems for governments and focuses entirely on the benefits, the ideas remain limited and under-developed. You mention that older people are experienced, mature, and act as family anchors, but these points are supported largely by sweeping generalizations and repetitive assertions rather than fully elaborated examples or thorough analysis. For instance, stating that they give us 'knowledge, gratitude, kindness, sincerity' is a list of abstract nouns rather than a developed argument about societal impact. To move to a higher level, you need to ensure all parts of the prompt are explored with deeper explanations, specific consequences, and better-supported arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The text shows some organization and a recognizable overall arrangement, but it lacks a clear progression throughout. Although you use basic paragraphing to separate your introduction, body points, and conclusion, the logical flow within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical. For example, the second paragraph rushes through a long list of traits separated by commas ('knowledge, gratitude, kindness, sincerity, truthfulness, hardwork and whatnot') without smooth transitions. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as the sudden shift into personal examples from India in the third paragraph without a strong cohesive bridge. To improve, you should ensure that each paragraph builds logically upon the previous one and that cohesive devices are used more naturally and variedly to guide the reader seamlessly through your arguments.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
Your vocabulary range is limited but minimally adequate for expressing basic thoughts about the topic. You attempt some less common vocabulary, such as 'asset', 'essence of life', and 'crucial chapter', but there are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and form. Examples include saying 'every next household are having' instead of 'many households have', using 'taught' instead of 'teach' in the present tense, and writing 'hardwork' as a single word or 'Atlast' instead of 'At last'. These lexical slips are frequent enough to cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher mark. To enhance your lexical score, focus on precise word choices, accurate word forms, correct spelling, and natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a very limited range of structures, relying mostly on straightforward or repetitive sentence patterns. When you attempt complex sentences, they are often faulty or awkward in construction. There are frequent errors in grammar, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'every next household are having', tense inconsistencies such as 'They can taught us', and missing or incorrect articles and prepositions. Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on clauses linked by commas instead of proper conjunctions or full stops. These frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader. To progress, you need to practice building accurate complex sentences with varied subordinate clauses and carefully check your basic grammatical agreements and verb forms.
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