Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is considered that individuals are living longer than they did in the past, mostly the over aged people which has led to over populaton. Although this trend can create financial and social challenges for government. I believe that the advantages of having more elderly people can outweight the disadvantage.

To begin with, on major advantages of having an ageing population is the increasing pressure on government services. Older people are more likely to need financial support and medicial treatment after retirement, which can require a large amount of public money. In addition, if the number of retaired people are much higher than the working population government may collect less tax while having to spend more on pensions and medicine. For example, this can place a significant burden on younger people and also individuals with struggling phase.

However, there are several benefits of having elderly people. Firstly, older people have valuable knowledge and experience which they pass to younger individuals. For example, a retired professional can provide advice and training to younger worker and help them develop their skills. Secondly, many of them are active and contribute to society and communities such as picking up their grandchildren from school and look after them because their father is at work. In addition, elderly people can be a volunteer in charitable organizations, which collet donations and use these funds to build schools and support local communities.

In conclusion, an ageing population can certainly increase government spending on helthcare and pensions. But i believe that the experience and social contribution of elderly people provide significant benefits to society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you acknowledge the costs of an ageing population but argue that its benefits outweigh them. You address both sides with relevant points, including pressure on pensions and healthcare, the transfer of professional experience, and help with childcare and community work. These examples show the beginnings of a well-supported response. However, the comparison is not fully developed: the opening says the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, but the body gives more detail about the disadvantages than about why the benefits are greater overall. The point about “individuals with struggling phase” is also unclear. To strengthen the argument, explain the wider impact of the benefits and directly weigh them against the financial costs before concluding.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and benefits, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “To begin with,” “However,” “Firstly,” and “In addition” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and some links do not accurately express the relationship between ideas. For example, “To begin with, on major advantages” introduces a disadvantage, while “Although this trend can create…” is left as an incomplete sentence. The conclusion restates the main position but does not bring the two sides together. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the paragraph’s main claim to make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “financial support,” “public money,” “working population,” “valuable knowledge,” and “charitable organizations.” This gives you enough range to discuss both government costs and social contributions. However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, as in “over populaton,” “medicial,” “retaired,” “outweight,” and “helthcare.” Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear, particularly “individuals with struggling phase” and “collect donations.” Aim for accurate forms and natural collocations, such as “people facing financial difficulties” and “raise donations.” More precise vocabulary for comparing the scale of costs and benefits would also help make your position more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a relative clause in “which can require a large amount of public money” and a conditional sentence beginning “if the number of retired people…”. The main ideas are generally understandable, but some sentence-level errors remain. “Although this trend can create financial and social challenges for government” is a dependent clause presented as a complete sentence, and “if the number … are much higher” has subject–verb disagreement. Other examples include “a retired professional can provide advice and training to younger worker” and “picking up their grandchildren from school and look after them,” where number and parallel verb forms need attention. Check that each sentence has a complete main clause, and review agreement, articles, plurals, and consistent verb forms.

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