Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many nations, people are now living longer then ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benfits if society has more elderly people. Rising population give advantages to the development nation and for development nation the aging population do not creates any problem. People who live longer give many advices to the youth of the nation.

On the one hand, aging population creates problem for the undevelopment nations because of they have not much facilities to maintain the population. If the society has more elderly people then there are so much benefits for the society. For example, in india and china there is so much population of differrent ages amd they both are development nations so the state of these nations do not face any problem. The government who have strong power and strong wealth they do not face any problem.

Furthermore, having elderly people in the society is beneficial because of elderly people faces many difficulties in past and they have so much experience. Elderly peoples give advice to the youth of society for their better future. Elderly people play an important role in the society. For example, in japan there are so much population of ages people and the economy of japan is so good and janap is so development nations instead of other nations bacause of they have elderly people.

In conclusion, while elderly individuals undeniably provide certain banefits to society. The experience and wisdom that older individuals bring to society, their potential to maintain social cohesion, and there role as mentors and leaders are essential for the overall well-being of community.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address the topic and give a broadly positive view of older people, especially by mentioning their experience and advice to younger generations. However, the response only partially answers the comparison in the question: it does not clearly explain to what extent these advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and the disadvantages are mentioned briefly without being developed. Claims such as “the aging population do not creates any problem” are asserted rather than supported, while the examples of India, China and Japan do not clearly demonstrate the points being made. The conclusion lists benefits but does not weigh them against the problems. To strengthen the response, state a clear comparative position and develop relevant reasons with specific, credible examples. (The response meets the required length; 17 words copied from the prompt were not counted.)

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “On the one hand” and “Furthermore,” and a conclusion. These paragraph breaks help identify the main stages of the answer. However, ideas are not consistently arranged in a clear progression. The first body paragraph shifts from problems in less-developed countries to benefits and then to claims about national wealth, without explaining how these points connect. Repeated references to elderly people and society also make the development feel circular, and “On the one hand” is not balanced by a corresponding opposing paragraph. The conclusion introduces social cohesion and leadership, which were not developed earlier. Organise the essay around distinct advantages and disadvantages, and use linking phrases to show the relationship between each claim and its example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a basic range of topic vocabulary, including “aging population,” “experience,” “advice,” “youth,” and “economy,” so the general subject is usually clear. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “play an important role” and “overall well-being.” However, vocabulary is repetitive and several word-choice, spelling, and word-form errors reduce precision: “benfits,” “differrent,” “janap,” and “development nations” are examples. Phrases such as “so much population” and “strong wealth” are not natural collocations, and “elderly peoples” is an inaccurate plural form. Build a wider set of accurate expressions for demographic pressures and social contributions, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most sentences use simple subject–verb patterns, and the reader can generally follow the intended meaning. There are attempts to form longer sentences with “because” and “if,” but these are often faulty, as in “because of they have not much facilities” and “because of elderly people faces many difficulties.” Agreement and verb forms are also frequently inaccurate: “Rising population give,” “the aging population do not creates,” and “elderly people faces” do not maintain correct subject–verb agreement. Articles, plurals, and punctuation need attention as well; for example, “the overall well-being of community” lacks an article, and the conclusion begins with a sentence fragment after “while.” Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using correctly formed subordinate clauses.

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