Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is an ongoing discussion among many individuals in different countries that an individual id living longer than before which is creating an elderly population which creates problem for governments. others people think that there are many advantages of having elderly people in pour society.

first, talk about the advantages of having elderly individuals in our society. it provide many benefits to our society. they help to guide our soceity to better path. the elderly person got experience from their life because they lived more ages than us. they will help the youth to get a solution for any problem before the youth of our soceity becuse they already faced that situation once in their lives. the life lesson given by elderly individuals will always be worth it because they learned from their mistakes.

for example, if a society has has their secreatory a group of senior , elderly and youth and they are facing a problem of unwanted outsider in their society in ths situation an elderly and senior citizen will give us a best solution as compared to the youth because they met with this type of situation earlier also.

there are many disadvantages of having only elderly individuals in our society. the elderly person became dependent on someone as their increasing age they couldn't be independent as always. the government has to provide old age pensions regularly which increase the government expenses regularly every year. the increase of elderly people than the youth of the country leads to less no of people appling for job because the new generation is not coming in the society. for example: if there is a large no of youth is needed to join army but the number of youth is less than elderly people it can create problem for that country in other to protect their own country

according to my opinion there should be a balance between the population of country's youth and elders for example: now, japan has a low number of population in youth but large number of population in senior citizen it cause them difficulties to hire new skills and youth which is not a good thing for a country

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question by discussing older people’s experience and guidance, as well as pension costs and a smaller workforce. The examples about community decision-making and Japan help make the discussion relevant. However, the task asks how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and your position is not fully clear: the conclusion calls for a balance but does not directly say whether the benefits outweigh the problems. Some points also need fuller explanation, particularly how older people’s experience benefits society more broadly and how workforce shortages affect governments. State your judgement clearly and support it with more precise reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: it introduces the issue, presents advantages, then disadvantages, and ends with a conclusion. Examples are generally placed near the points they illustrate, which helps the reader follow the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, with repeated openings such as “the elderly” and “the society,” and links between ideas are not always clear. The conclusion introduces Japan without smoothly connecting it to the preceding argument. Use clearer topic sentences and transitions to show how each point develops, and make references such as “they” or “this situation” unambiguous. More deliberate paragraphing and linking would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “experience,” “old age pensions,” “government expenses,” and “senior citizen.” This gives you enough language to communicate the main ideas, but the range is limited and several expressions are repetitive or imprecise. Phrases such as “better path,” “less no of people,” and “hire new skills and youth” are not natural or clear in this context. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “soceity,” “becuse,” and “secreatory,” which reduce accuracy. Build a more precise range for discussing demographic change, employment, and public spending, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example when explaining that older people can advise young people because they have faced similar situations. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries occur frequently enough to make some points difficult to read. Examples include “it provide many benefits,” “the elderly person became dependent,” and “as their increasing age they couldn't be independent.” Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly at the beginnings of sentences. Practise accurate simple sentence patterns first, then build longer sentences using clear clauses and correct subject–verb agreement. Proofreading for sentence boundaries would also improve clarity.

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