Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Certain individual hold a view that people are living longer than ever before and says that it creates problem for governments and some says there are benefits if society has more elderly people. I completely agree with the said notion that elderly people are benefical for society.

Firstly, aging population creates lots of benefits for society and children .For instance ,Older people can share their view and aspects to children and help them by giving tips about trouble to tackle it out.It is good for country also to be recognised globally .Additionally,more number aged people means the climatic condition and global warming is controlled by the government.Aged people who can mobile from one place to another can be used as mentor in school and colleges ,especially one who is retired from Army and have a experience of battlefield .

On the other hand, aged people can be burden for government only when they are inmobile and can not do their work by themselves.For example , Aged people creates disturbance for their children when all are involved in work and business.Government also have to spend a lot amount of GDP on aged people to look after them in medicine and Hospital expenses .Even aged people helps their child financialy by receiving pension.Government have to build a aged house and keeps caretake it takes lots of time and money.Hence it is not bad for countries.

To conclude,I belive that aged people are gems of society and can teaches lots lesson about life .The advantages of aged people outweigh the disadvantages .Older people guides us through every aspects if we ask to them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall position: you believe the advantages of an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages, and you include points on both sides. The examples about older people mentoring children and former soldiers sharing experience are relevant. However, the response only partly develops the task: the claim that more elderly people help control global warming is not explained, and the discussion of government costs is brief and not weighed carefully against the benefits. The conclusion repeats your view but does not draw together the reasons. To strengthen the response, explain how each point supports your judgement and use a specific, plausible example. The response meets the stated length requirement; nine words copied from the task prompt were excluded from the count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a benefits paragraph, a paragraph beginning “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify your main position and the contrast between benefits and costs. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: ideas move from children’s learning to global recognition and climate change without clear links, while the costs paragraph combines care expenses, family disruption, pensions and care homes. Some linking phrases, such as “Firstly,” “Additionally,” and “Hence,” are used, but they do not always show the precise relationship between ideas. Group related points, develop one main idea at a time, and use clearer references and transitions to make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “aging population,” “pension,” “GDP,” “mentor,” and “battlefield,” and you attempt to express ideas beyond very basic statements. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, such as “share their view and aspects,” “used as mentor,” and “build a aged house.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “benefical,” “inmobile,” and “financialy,” are also noticeable. These issues sometimes make the reader pause to interpret your meaning. Build a more precise vocabulary for ageing and public services, and check spelling and natural word combinations. The suggestions below offer alternatives that fit your intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a contrast between benefits and disadvantages and examples introduced with “For instance.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to process. Examples include “Certain individual hold a view,” “Aged people creates disturbance,” and “Older people guides us,” where subject–verb agreement is incorrect. Articles and sentence construction also need attention, as in “build a aged house,” while the opening sentence joins several ideas in a confusing way. Practise accurate agreement, articles and plural forms, and divide long or crowded sentences into clear units. More reliable control of these basics will make your argument easier to understand.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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