Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In certain countries, individuals are now survive longer than ever before. Several individuals believe aging population creates difficulties for governments but other people think if provide many benefits if society has more elderly individuals.

To begin with the advantage of this statement, elderly people who can't have ability to walk and not in condition to do any work if they want but they can survive without any disease if they think diet plan which is crucial to their body improvement. Aging population don't create difficulties for any of their family member, relatives and government if they manage their body their own.

Moreover, on the other hand, it can

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the topic of longer life expectancy and briefly mentions both possible benefits and difficulties, but it does not answer the central question about whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. No clear position is stated, and the discussion is extremely limited: the claim that older people can remain healthy through diet is not explained or supported with a relevant example. The sentence about elderly people not creating difficulties for families or governments is also asserted rather than justified. The response ends with an unfinished phrase, “Moreover, on the other hand, it can,” leaving the argument incomplete. It also falls 142 words short of the required minimum. To improve, state a clear view and develop relevant reasons and examples for both sides.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening introduces the issue, and “To begin with” signals a first point. However, the ideas do not progress into a complete argument, and the final paragraph begins with “Moreover, on the other hand” but stops before presenting a point. The opening also combines opposing views without clarifying how the essay will proceed. Some linking is confusing or mechanical, particularly the use of both “Moreover” and “on the other hand” together. Build a clear sequence with an introduction stating your position, separate paragraphs for developed reasons, and a conclusion. Use linking expressions only when their relationship between ideas is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small range of topic-related vocabulary, including “aging population,” “governments,” “elderly people,” and “diet plan,” so the general subject is recognisable. However, several phrases are awkward or imprecise, such as “To begin with the advantage of this statement,” “can't have ability to walk,” and “body improvement.” Repetition of “individuals” and “elderly” also limits variety, while “survive without any disease” does not express the intended idea naturally. These choices sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and more precise terms, such as “older adults,” “mobility difficulties,” and “maintain good health.” Check that each chosen phrase conveys the intended point clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a few longer sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “but” and a conditional clause beginning “if they manage,” but control is inconsistent. The opening, “individuals are now survive longer,” has an incorrect verb construction; “an aging population creates” is missing an article, and “if provide many benefits” lacks a clear subject and verb. In “elderly people who can't have ability to walk,” the relative clause is not formed accurately, and the sentence that follows contains unclear clause connections. The final fragment, “Moreover, on the other hand, it can,” is incomplete. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check articles, verb forms, and clause boundaries. A wider range of structures will be useful once these basics are more secure.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.