Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, in many countries people are live longer than ever before. Some people say that an aging population creates problem for the government .some believe that there are beneficial has to more elderly people. This essay will discuss advantage and its disadvantages I believe that its benefits is less than its disadvantages.

First of all, the older people are are live longer than ever before it has more drawbacks, the more number of older persons are very difficult for the government to pay the pension.It decrease the economic status of the country. If the older people are more than youngsters than the nation should not make progress as a result the pouplation of youngsters is less and less work is done because older persons are not able to work. Their body do not able to do work young citizens are more energetic and have potential to do hard work. If the numbers of the old persons are large than the state should spent more funds to the hospital and medicine. Moreover, the number of young, tax paying workers decrease.

On the other side, there are two main benefits of an aging population is they have more knowledge of the life, they teach them in personal and practical life. Most of them are retired professors they teach the students because they have great experience of teaching. Moreover, in the joint families they have a successful business because of their grandparents wisdom .

In the conclusion, the aging people are more beneficial for society owing to they are wise and have many experiences we should learn from them for our personal life while an aging population have many drawbacks, government paying more pensions and spend a large amount of budget on the medical department.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question and state a position in the introduction, saying that the benefits are less than the disadvantages. The first body paragraph gives relevant concerns about pension costs, healthcare spending and a smaller workforce, while the next identifies older people’s knowledge and experience as benefits. However, the conclusion reverses your stated position: it calls older people “more beneficial” despite the essay arguing that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits. The benefits are also only briefly explained, and the examples about retired professors and family businesses are not clearly connected to the wider effects on society. Keep your position consistent and develop each main point with a clearer explanation or specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. Linking expressions such as “First of all,” “Moreover,” and “On the other side” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: several points are crowded into the first body paragraph, and the relationship between a larger older population, reduced work and national progress is not always made clear. Some transitions are mechanical, and the conclusion does not follow the position established earlier. Use one main idea per paragraph, connect each explanation explicitly to that idea, and ensure the final paragraph accurately summarises your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “pension,” “tax paying workers,” “economic status,” and “experience,” which helps communicate the main issues. There is also an attempt to vary expressions for older people, such as “elderly people” and “older persons.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations are inaccurate or unclear, including “beneficial has to more elderly people,” “the more number,” and “their grandparents wisdom.” Spelling errors such as “pouplation” and “decrease” in the context of “the number ... decrease” also reduce precision. Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing public costs, workforce participation and social contributions, and check spelling and collocations when revising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and conditional structures, for example, “If the older people are more than youngsters...” and “If the numbers of the old persons are large...”. However, these attempts are often faulty, and errors in basic sentence construction frequently make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “people are live longer,” “the older people are are live,” and “their body do not able to do work.” Agreement and verb forms are also inconsistent, as in “the number of young, tax paying workers decrease.” Punctuation and sentence boundaries need attention, particularly the run-on opening and missing spaces after full stops. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms.

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