Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Now a days people are living longer than they did in the past, and has increased the number of elderly people in many countries. Some people believe that an aging population causes probllem, while other think it has some benefits. In my opinion, an aging population has both pros and cons, but pros are greater.

One major benefit of having more elderly people is their experience and knowledge. Older people have usually spent many years working and learning about life. They can give useful advice to younger people and help them make better decisions. For example, grandparents can teach their grandchildren about family values, traditions and important life skills. In addition, many elderly people continue work after retirement age, so they can still contribute to the economy.

However, there is also sevreal drawbacks. The biggest problem is the extra pressure on healthcare services. As people become older, they may need extra medical treatment and regular check-ups. This can increase government spending on hospitals and medicines. Another problem is that there may be fewer young people working and paying taxes. This can make it difficult for governments to provide pensions and other services for older citizens. For instance, In pakistan, many families take care of their elderly parents at home. This can be a good thing because older people recieve love and support from their families. However, it can also be difficult for families when an elderly person needs expensive medical treatment or full-time care.

In conclusion, I would like to say that, an aging population can provide experience, knowledge and family support, but it can also create serious pressure on healthcare and governments finances. Therefore, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, and governments should prepare better healthcare and pension systems for the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and state a position, but the conclusion says the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, whereas the introduction says the advantages are greater. This contradiction makes your overall answer to “to what extent” unclear. The benefits of experience, advice and continued work are relevant, and you explain healthcare costs and pressure on pensions. However, some points are only briefly developed: for example, you mention that older people may continue working without explaining how common or significant this contribution might be. The Pakistan example adds a useful perspective on family care, but its connection to the overall comparison could be made more explicit. Keep one consistent position and weigh the benefits against the costs more directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on drawbacks and an ending. The ideas generally progress in a sensible order, and linking expressions such as “However,” “In addition” and “For example” help readers follow the discussion. The main cohesion problem is the shift in position between the introduction and conclusion, which disrupts the essay’s overall progression. The drawbacks paragraph also moves from healthcare and taxes to family care, so a clearer link explaining how the Pakistan example supports the argument would improve the flow. Some transitions are quite formulaic, but the organisation remains coherent. Use references and transitions to show more explicitly how each example relates to your central comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use adequate vocabulary for the topic, including “healthcare services,” “government spending,” “pensions” and “family values.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and some topic-specific language helps make the discussion relevant. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “probllem,” “sevreal” and “recieve.” There are also awkward or imprecise phrases such as “continue work” and “governments finances,” which reduce naturalness. The repeated use of general terms such as “problem,” “benefit” and “older people” limits precision. Build a wider set of accurate collocations for ageing and public services, and proofread spelling and possessive forms. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish the economic, healthcare and family-care arguments.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “As people become older, they may need extra medical treatment” and a conditional structure in “when an elderly person needs expensive medical treatment.” Most sentences are understandable, and errors rarely prevent the reader from following your meaning. Some grammatical problems remain, however. The opening sentence has faulty agreement and an unclear subject: “people are living longer … and has increased the number.” There are also issues with verb patterns and articles, as in “continue work after retirement age,” and punctuation in “I would like to say that, an aging population.” Review subject–verb agreement, article use and sentence punctuation, while continuing to practise varied complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.