Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The growing population has always been a serious problem in many countries. It is often argued that elderly people can impose serious concern on the governments. While some individuals think that they are valuable assets for the society. This essay will discuss both points of view and then will describe the advantages of having an elderly community outweigh the disadvantages.

On one hand, overpopulation is becoming a serious concern for the world, as it causes the depletion of natural resources because of the overusage of these resources. This can be very problematic for the government to effectively maintain the natural resources. Moreover, elderly people are not able to perform physical tasks, which will reduce the productivity of various corporations and authorities.

On the other hand, elderly people can contribute positively to the society, as adults and minors can engage with them to learn valuable things from their experiences. Teenagers can learn various things, such as historical events and traditions, from their perspective. This can help the society to preserve their tradition and history, which will be very beneficial for the society. For instance, minors can gain profound knowledge of past historical events like World War 2 from their elderly, which will improve their understanding about all the events that occurred at that time.

In the end, I agree with this argument that elderly people contribute positively to society, as it will improve the character development of our children by learning from their wisdom. So these advantages surely outweigh the disadvantages of having elderly people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You present a clear overall view that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, and you include relevant points about preserving history and learning from older people. However, the response only partly addresses the specific issue of an aging population. The disadvantage paragraph shifts to overpopulation and resource depletion, which are not clearly explained as consequences of a larger elderly population; the claim about reduced productivity is also asserted rather than supported. The benefits are more relevant, but they focus mainly on passing on knowledge and could be developed further with another concrete benefit, such as older people’s contributions through work, caregiving, or community involvement. Explain the comparison between these benefits and the government-related costs to make your position more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The signposts “On one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In the end” help readers follow the broad progression, and the example about learning history supports the paragraph’s main point. However, the first body paragraph’s discussion of overpopulation does not connect clearly to the aging-population question, so the argument’s progression is weakened. Some linking is also mechanical, and repeated references to “society” and “elderly people” make the flow less smooth. Use clearer links between each claim and the central topic, and make references more precise—for example, specify whether “they” means older people or the resources mentioned.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “depletion of natural resources,” “productivity,” “preserve,” and “profound knowledge.” These choices allow you to express the main ideas, and the meaning is generally clear. There are, however, some inaccurate or unnatural collocations and repeated general terms. “Impose serious concern on the governments” is not a natural way to describe a burden, while “overusage” and “elderly community” are less suitable in these contexts. “Historical events” is also repeated, and “valuable things” is vague. Aim for more precise, natural phrasing and vary repeated words; for instance, distinguish between the older population, older adults, and retirees where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “as,” “which,” and “while,” and most of the message remains understandable. Some grammatical errors and sentence-boundary problems persist. “While some individuals think that they are valuable assets for the society” is a fragment because it is not joined to a main clause. In “This can help the society to preserve their tradition,” the pronoun does not agree clearly with “society”; a more controlled version would be “This can help society preserve its traditions.” There are also awkward article and preposition patterns, such as “the governments” and “understanding about all the events.” Check that every contrast clause forms a complete sentence and review agreement and article use.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.