Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays,individuals live a longer life in several nations . Some people argue that an older population creates challenges for government as it needs to spend more money in healthcare.while others oppose this because senior citizens are beneficial as they have alot of experience , knowledge and can also help with childcare. I believe advantages outweigh the disadvantages .

On the one hand , there are several advantages of having aging people in society. firstly, they have a valuable life experience and knowledge. Elderly individuals can guide younger ones to avoid mistakes and become responsible for life .For instance, grandparents can teach young generation how to manage family responsibilities and deal with difficult situations. Secondly,they can help with childcare. Older people may look after their grandchildren while parents are working.To cite an example . grandparents can prepare them to school,cook for them and help them study.

On the other hand , the main drawback of aging population in nation is high expense in healthcare. Most of the government funds are used in healthcare services such as medial facilities in public hospital. Moreover, legislative schemes of free medicines and opretions for older people .for example education can become priority for government spending instead of hospitals if there is less aging population in a country.

In conclusion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of having older population in a country as they can sahre their experience with youngsters and help in managing children However , drawback of high expense on hospital from government budget is also notable .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your response addresses both sides of the question and states a clear position: “I believe advantages outweigh the disadvantages.” The benefits of older people’s experience and childcare are relevant, and the healthcare-cost drawback is also identified. Examples such as grandparents helping children study make the discussion more concrete. However, the ideas are not developed equally: the benefits receive two points, while the disadvantage is mainly asserted through government spending, with little explanation of its wider effects or why the benefits outweigh it. The comparison in the conclusion is brief rather than fully reasoned. To strengthen the response, explain the consequences of healthcare costs and directly weigh them against the social and practical contributions of older people.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main direction. Within the advantages paragraph, “Firstly” and “Secondly” also make the points easy to identify. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. “To cite an example” is separated from the sentence it introduces, and the healthcare paragraph moves from public hospitals to free medicines and then to education without clearly explaining the links. The conclusion repeats the main points but does not bring the comparison together. Use linking phrases to show cause and contrast, and make each paragraph progress from claim to explanation to example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “aging population,” “healthcare services,” “government funds,” and “family responsibilities.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “legislative schemes” and “valuable life experience.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “high expense in healthcare,” “prepare them to school,” and “share their experience with youngsters.” Spelling errors such as “medial,” “opretions,” and “sahre” also reduce precision. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall argument, but they make parts of it less natural. Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and checking spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast structure in the introduction and clauses with “while” and “if.” The main meaning is generally understandable, but errors in sentence boundaries, articles, agreement, and punctuation occur across the response. For example, “healthcare.while others oppose this” incorrectly joins a new sentence after a full stop, while “the main drawback of aging population” needs an article before “aging population.” In “grandparents can prepare them to school,” the grammatical pattern is also incorrect. Capitalisation and spacing around punctuation are inconsistent. Practise checking each sentence for a complete clause, correct articles, and appropriate punctuation; then review preposition patterns in phrases such as “help someone get ready for school.”

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