Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There are various viewpoints about whether aging population creates problems for government or beneficial for the society. While government requires sufficient fund to provide sufficent health facilities for the elderly people, providing opportunities for the younger generations to learn and develop essional skills from them.

To begin with, Old individuals play an essential role in our societ. They require special care and medical facilites from the government because they enable to work at this age which creates pressure to the government to provide pentions, medical treatments and shelter homes facilites. For example, In many countries of Africa, even government has not enough fund to provide better infrastruction for young people, therefore the older people creates an extra burden

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies a relevant disadvantage: older people may need pensions, medical care and shelter, placing pressure on government budgets. However, it does not answer the central question about whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The opening briefly mentions younger people learning skills from older generations, but this potential advantage is not explained or supported. The discussion then focuses only on costs, and the example about African governments is unfinished, so the position remains unclear and the ideas are very limited. The response also does not meet the required minimum length, leaving the task substantially incomplete. To improve, state a clear view on the balance of advantages and disadvantages, develop both sides with reasons and examples, and complete the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening introduces the topic, and “To begin with” signals the start of a supporting point. The ideas about healthcare, pensions and government pressure are related, so the reader can follow the general subject. However, the response stops before developing a full line of argument, and there is no conclusion or clear progression to a judgement. The opening sentence also combines contrasting ideas without making their relationship clear, while the final example ends abruptly. Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, advantages, disadvantages and conclusion, and connect each point with clear explanations rather than relying on a single transition.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “aging population,” “medical treatments,” “pensions” and “extra burden,” which helps communicate the main concern. However, the range is limited, and several spelling errors or inaccurate word choices make the writing less clear, such as “sufficent,” “societ,” “facilites” and “infrastruction.” Some phrasing is also awkward, including “enable to work at this age,” which does not clearly express the intended point. Build a more accurate range for discussing demographic change, public spending and intergenerational benefits. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations such as “provide healthcare” and “place pressure on public finances.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both a complex opening structure with “While” and a longer sentence explaining the effects of elderly people’s needs. These attempts show some willingness to use more than simple sentences. However, the opening “While…” clause is not completed with a grammatically balanced main clause, and the second paragraph contains unclear sentence construction, particularly “because they enable to work at this age.” There are also errors in agreement and articles, as in “the older people creates” and “aging population creates problems.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are inconsistent, including the unfinished final sentence. Practise complete clause structures, subject–verb agreement and article use, then proofread each sentence to ensure it expresses one clear idea.

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