Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this Modern era, Few individuals are living longer life than lived in past in some countries, Certain people believing that elder population makes problems for governments, While others think that there are some advantages if population has more aged individuals. Personally, I opined that senior citizens does not make any sense in our society after certain period because it is not overcoming advantages .

On the one hand, Today, In japan 60% of the population is living their life in there 60's and we cant refuse the past who made japan this much technologically strong and those credits goes to them who never betrayed elder citizons in terms of helping, forwarding towards positive development. Furthermore, Experience creates major difference, Which directly helps to our society. As i had seen in one survey regarding this topic, Showed comparison of developed countries and in develop countries, In which it clearly presented that nations like India and China are slowly developing country whereas USA and South Korea is in top 3 list which directly shows that elder people make sense in creating something better due to unconditional and strong mindset.

On the other hand, In those countries where population of elder people are increasing, Government policies affects, Because more retired person = more pension investments and also it directly affects to young professionals in terms of job openings and business competitions. Moreover, Rate of Quality chance go down because of the over-crowded environment.

For Conclusion, Although it has certain disadvantages, People will still choose experience over confidence of young people,Which is a plus point as a gift of our elders.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question and give a position: you recognise older people’s experience as a benefit, while noting pension costs and competition for jobs as disadvantages. However, the extent to which the advantages outweigh the disadvantages is not consistently clear. The opening says older citizens “does not make any sense” after a certain period, which appears to reject their value, but the conclusion favours experience and calls it a “plus point.” The examples about Japan and a survey comparing countries are difficult to connect to the argument and are not explained sufficiently. To strengthen the response, state your judgement clearly from the introduction and develop a few relevant points with specific explanations of how they affect society and government.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. These markers help readers identify the two sides of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the Japan example shifts to a comparison of India, China, the USA and South Korea without clearly showing how this supports the point about older people. Some links are mechanical or unclear, such as “Furthermore” and “Moreover,” and the conclusion does not fully resolve the conflicting position in the introduction. Organise each body paragraph around one main claim, then explain and illustrate it before moving to the next idea. Clearer references between claims and examples would also improve flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “elder population,” “pension investments,” “job openings,” “experience,” and “technologically strong.” This gives you some means of discussing the issue, but the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear. For example, “Rate of Quality chance go down” does not communicate a precise disadvantage, while “never betrayed elder citizens” seems to mean that society supported or respected them. Spelling and word-form errors such as “citizons” and “developed country” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural phrases for the effects you describe, and check that each expression conveys the intended meaning in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a contrast between the benefits and costs of an ageing population. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, tense, articles, and sentence boundaries frequently make the argument harder to follow. Examples include “senior citizens does not,” “Experience creates major difference,” and “Government policies affects.” The opening also joins several independent ideas with commas, while the sentence beginning “As i had seen in one survey” is incomplete and difficult to interpret. Practise building accurate sentences around one main clause, then add subordinate clauses only when their relationship is clear. Check subject–verb agreement and punctuation when editing.

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