Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Thanks to the rising well being in the world, people are now living healther and longer than ever before but some researches shows that increasing of aging population creates many problems for goverments but some people does not agree with it. They said when the society has more elder matured people it helps society with lots of experiences and knowledge and also it helps to increase yonger generation's good qualities as well.

However with the increases of elder people , socety needs more healthcare services and hospital facilites than ever before. Goverment data shows that most of the people who admitted for so long to the hospital is the elder people so goverment also facing some healthcare problems and they need to facilitate more facilities and buld new hospital rooms with the increasing of amount of patients.

Secondly, families with elders have benefits like , educating grand childrens, protecting them and shows more healthier family connection comapred with the families that does not hacve elder people. But with the busy lifestyle and less income some kids failled to take care of the elderlhy parents and theuy tend to give their parents to elderly homes. That make the parents feel more sad and uneasy. Therefore now society starting to talk about this more and more. For this problem goverment should build more public eldercare homes for poor people and goverment should restrct the paying elder homes where pulling more kids to give theoir parents to them even when they can take care of.

So finally it concluded, it has both advantages and disadvantages of long living but while the advantagesare just something that people talk but advnatages are more researched and noted so the goverment should pay there attention more to3wards this as soon as posibile.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the issue, mentioning the healthcare costs of an older population and the experience and family support older people can provide. However, the response only partially answers the key question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The conclusion says the advantages are “more researched and noted,” but this does not clearly state which side you believe is stronger or explain why. Several points are also under-developed: for example, the healthcare burden is described, but its wider effects on government budgets or younger taxpayers are not explained. Make your position explicit in the introduction and conclusion, then develop and support each main reason with a clear explanation or relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, and words such as “However,” “Secondly,” and “Therefore” help signal some relationships between ideas. Nevertheless, the overall progression is not consistently clear: the second body paragraph shifts from family benefits to eldercare homes and government regulation without clearly connecting these points to the comparison in the question. The conclusion also does not follow logically from the discussion, as it refers to advantages being “more researched” without establishing this earlier. Some linking is repetitive or awkward, and references such as “this” in “For this problem” are not fully precise. Organise the essay around a clear position, give each paragraph one main purpose, and use linking phrases to show the exact relationship between claims.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “healthcare services,” “elderly homes,” “knowledge,” and “generation,” so the reader can identify the main subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making ideas difficult to understand. Examples include “rising well being,” “increasing of aging population,” and “more healthier family connection.” Spelling errors such as “goverments,” “facilites,” and “elderlhy” are also noticeable. Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing demographic change, public spending, caregiving, and social contributions. Check spelling and word forms carefully, and choose natural combinations such as “an ageing population,” “healthcare provision,” and “stronger family relationships.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses joined with “but,” “when,” and “while.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction can make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “some researches shows” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “some people does not agree” also uses an incorrect verb form. The final sentence beginning “So finally it concluded” is not grammatically complete in a natural way. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected supporting clause, and check singular/plural agreement and verb forms before adding more complexity. Punctuation around clauses also needs more consistent control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.