Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Life longivity raises and many individuals consider this to be beneficial for the society other consider this to be burden for governments.

In my opinion, Its really amazing to have senior citizens with good health in a family because one can spend quality time together with them, can ask for their guidance on the basis of their exposure and learn from their life experiences for example, Now a days, in a busy shedule where both parents need to go to work in order to compete financial expenses, they can feel very relaxed if they know that their kids are safe at home with their grandparents and they can easily focus on their work instead of being concerned about safety and security. They keep an eye on children and try to assist them as much as they can and this leads to very healthy environment.

Younger people of the family develops to have empthy, affection for them and they can assist old ones in hour of need like medical assistance. one should make thier retirement plan in young age so that when they get old and unable to do work they have their financial backup and there is no need to depend upon anyone and in this way they will not even creating problems for others

On the other hand, in modern world people are so many busy in thier routines that they are unable to take care of the elder and feel them as burden. Gournment is developing old age homes in order to make sure that individuals in their later life can receive care in terms of medically, physically, emotionaly more efficiently. Establishment have to use allocated taxes to perform this additional task .

Overall there are prons and cons of each modification and we should live healthy routine to mitigate posisble diseases that could occur to us in future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You present a relevant view that older people can benefit families, especially by sharing experience and helping with childcare, and you also mention the pressure on governments to provide care. However, the task asks you to weigh whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and your conclusion does not make that comparison clear: “there are prons and cons” leaves your overall judgement uncertain. The disadvantages are also only briefly outlined, while the benefits receive more attention and are mainly illustrated through one family situation. To strengthen the response, state your position directly in the introduction and conclusion, then develop and compare the social benefits with specific government costs or other disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic overall structure, with an opening, discussion of benefits, a contrasting paragraph about care pressures, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “On the other hand” help signal a change in direction. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the discussion moves from grandparents helping with childcare to younger relatives’ empathy and then retirement planning without clearly connecting these points. Some sentences are very long and combine several ideas, while the final paragraph introduces a general point about healthy routines rather than drawing together the argument. Use clearer topic sentences, separate distinct points into sentences, and make the conclusion refer explicitly to the advantages and disadvantages discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “senior citizens,” “life experiences,” “medical assistance,” and “allocated taxes.” This gives you a basic range for discussing family support and public services. However, word choice and spelling errors are frequent and sometimes make the meaning less clear, as in “Life longivity,” “Gournment,” “emotionaly,” and “prons and cons.” Several phrases are also unnatural, such as “compete financial expenses” and “feel them as burden.” Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common collocations for ageing and public care. More precise terms such as “financial pressures” and “regard older people as a burden” would make your ideas easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional idea in “if they know that their kids are safe at home” and a relative clause in “individuals in their later life can receive care.” However, complex sentences are often difficult to control, and frequent errors affect clarity. For example, “Younger people of the family develops” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “they will not even creating problems” has an incorrect verb form. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly in the long sentence beginning “In my opinion.” Practise building shorter, accurate sentences first, then combine ideas using controlled clauses. Check agreement, verb forms, articles, and punctuation during revision.

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