Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, people have different views on the growing aging population across the globe. As some people believe that old people only creates problems for governments, whilst others think that old people are benifitial to society. And in my essay, I have discussed both pros and cons of such a devlopment.

Firstly, old people help the societies to maintain their cultural values. This is because that in today's world, where the educational institutes only focus on teaching minors the technical knowledge, so these are the older grandparents who teach their minors with the ethical and their cultural values. This informal education by older parents, then help the nations to keep up with their civilization's values alongside their technological developments, such as countries like Japan.

Another benifit from old people is realised by their guidance to youngsters in traditional fields like agriculture. For instance, in countries like pakistan which are largely dependent on this sector, so the older people with farming experiences of their lives can sha

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies two relevant advantages: older people can pass on cultural values and offer practical guidance in agriculture. The examples of Japan and Pakistan help connect these points to real contexts. However, the task asks whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and the essay does not establish a clear overall judgement or explain the disadvantages. The introduction says both sides will be discussed, but the response ends while developing the second advantage, so the argument remains incomplete and the ideas are only briefly supported. The stated minimum length is not met, which contributes to the limited coverage. To improve, state your position clearly, develop at least one disadvantage, compare the two sides, and support each main point with a fuller explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: an introductory paragraph is followed by two paragraphs that each introduce an advantage, using signals such as “Firstly” and “Another benefit.” This gives the reader a basic sense of direction. However, there is no clear overall progression towards an answer to the outweigh question, and the response stops mid-sentence (“can sha…”), leaving the final idea unfinished. Some linking is also awkward or repetitive: “This is because that” and “so” appear in constructions that do not connect the clauses clearly. The introduction promises both pros and cons, but the body only develops advantages. Plan a complete sequence—position, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion—and use linking phrases only where they clarify the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “cultural values,” “technical knowledge,” “traditional fields,” and “farming experiences.” These choices make the main subject understandable, and the examples provide some specificity. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce accuracy, including “benifitial,” “devlopment,” and “realised by their guidance.” Phrases such as “teach their minors” and “older parents” are also imprecise for the intended meaning. Aim for more natural collocations and accurate spelling, for example, “pass on values to younger generations” and “benefit society.” Proofread carefully and choose vocabulary that expresses the relationship between older people and younger people precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts both simple and complex sentences, including a relative clause in “where the educational institutes only focus…” and a reason clause beginning “This is because…”. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For example, “old people only creates problems” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “This is because that…” and “so these are the older grandparents who…” create awkward clause structures. The sentence beginning “For instance, in countries like Pakistan…” also uses “so” in a way that disrupts the sentence, and the final sentence is incomplete. Practise building shorter, complete sentences first, then combine ideas with accurate subordinate clauses and check agreement and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.