Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is no denial in accepting that due to advancement in every field, medical stream has progressed leaps and bounds and has resulted in the increase in life expectancy. In my view, although there are disadvantages, the advantages can outweigh them if managed properly.

One of the major disadvantage is that more and more people are alive now in this planet which results in putting a pressure on public resources and some of the resources are now depleting for the forthcoming generation. Government will need to build more healthcare services in order to cater the elderly needs. More aging population means govenrment need more tax to accomodate the old people which in return imposing a heavy taxation on young citizens to sustain these services.

On the other hand, there are significant advantages of having more elderly people. Older individuals often possess deep knowledge, history experience, wisdom and emotional maturity which can then help to shape societies. They can be very good mentor to younger audience and encourge them to follow a tried and tested path who have lost in their teens. Old people are ususally free so they can volunteer a lot of work to set off the burden from young ones. Their continued support can result in building a connected and compassionate society.

In conclusion, an aging population can presents both challanges and opportunities. It is us who needs to decide how to utilize their energy in a positive way so that it can benefit us in return rather just looking at them as a burden on us only then advantages can outweigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your response addresses both sides of the question and gives a clear overall view: the advantages can outweigh the disadvantages if older people are used positively. The points about pressure on healthcare and taxation are relevant, as are the contributions of older people through experience, mentoring and volunteering. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that older people can mentor young people would be stronger with a specific example of how this benefits society. The conclusion repeats your position but does not clearly weigh the benefits against the costs. Develop the comparison more explicitly—for instance, explain why older people’s contributions can offset increased public spending.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on disadvantages, a paragraph on advantages and a conclusion. The contrast between the two main body paragraphs is easy to follow, and phrases such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of your argument. Some connections between ideas are less clear or feel mechanical. In the advantages paragraph, the move from wisdom to mentoring and then volunteering would benefit from more explicit links showing how each point supports your position. The final sentence is also long and difficult to follow. Use clearer sentence boundaries and refer back to your central comparison so the argument progresses more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “life expectancy,” “public resources,” “emotional maturity,” and “compassionate society.” These choices help communicate the topic and show attempts to use less common language. However, several inaccurate or unnatural expressions reduce precision, such as “There is no denial in accepting,” “history experience,” and “set off the burden.” Spelling errors, including “govenrment,” “accomodate,” and “encourge,” also affect the overall impression. Aim to learn vocabulary in natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms for public spending and older people’s contributions would make the argument sound more fluent and appropriately academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “the advantages can outweigh them if managed properly” and a relative clause in “a tried and tested path who have lost in their teens.” However, some sentence structures are faulty, and errors in agreement, articles and verb forms are noticeable. Examples include “One of the major disadvantage is,” “Government will need,” and “an aging population can presents.” The final sentence also combines several clauses without clear grammatical control, making the meaning harder to follow. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and singular/plural forms, and divide long sentences into shorter units. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentence attempts clearer.

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