Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this essay we discuss about the thinking of different people that some people now living longer than ever brfore. These people want to enjoy their lifes for the longer time but some people say an against population creates for government. These people think the population are great effect on the society. Other people think the elder people are benefits of the society.

On the one hand in my opinion the disadvantage of the population creates many problems for government. Every people want to enjoy their lifes for long time. Most the countries have bad economy so he difficult to survive for our nation. If the population increase everyday so the government donot take more facilities to their nation. The people face many problem to spend his life in future if population grow day by day. Every people want to enjoy our life with happiness for longer time he donot want to go end of the life.

On the other hand in many countries people are now living for long time if every people spend his life for long time so he create many problems such as population. These people think the elder people are benefits for the society because the elder people gives many plans of our life so he tells us how we spend our life in future. So i think in this hand the elder people are the great advantage for us because the people guided him for our future.

In my opinion in many countries longer life is essential for every people and always want to spend his life for longer period i think it create many problems such as population growth and effect on the economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response recognises the topic and presents a basic view that longer lives can create pressure on governments, while older people may benefit society through their guidance. However, it only minimally answers the central question of how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The conclusion says that longer life is essential but also repeats that it creates problems, without clearly weighing the two sides or stating which is stronger. Supporting points remain vague: for example, “bad economy” and “more facilities” are mentioned without explaining how an aging population affects public spending or services. The point about older people sharing life experience is relevant, but needs a specific example and further explanation. Develop both sides and give a consistent, explicit judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader a basic route through the response. However, progression within paragraphs is weak: several sentences repeat that people want to live longer or that population growth creates problems, rather than adding distinct supporting steps. Connections between ideas are sometimes unclear, particularly where the discussion shifts from longer life to population growth and then to government facilities. Referencing such as “these people” and “he” does not always make clear who is meant. To improve, organise each body paragraph around one main claim, then explain its cause or consequence and use a clear example.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on “people,” “life,” “long time,” and “problems.” Some topic-related language appears, including “government,” “economy,” “population growth,” and “elder people,” so the general subject is usually identifiable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “an against population,” “the elder people are benefits,” and “gives many plans of our life.” Spelling errors such as “brfore” and “lifes” also reduce control. Build a more precise set of phrases for the topic, such as “an aging population,” “pressure on public services,” and “older adults’ experience,” and check word forms and spelling when revising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences using “if,” “because,” and “so,” but control is limited and many sentences contain errors that make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “Most the countries have bad economy so he difficult to survive” and “If the population increase everyday so the government donot take more facilities.” There are recurring problems with subject–verb agreement, articles, pronouns, and sentence construction, as well as inconsistent punctuation and capitalisation. Simple sentence patterns are more manageable, but the range is narrow and complex attempts are often faulty. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly formed subordinate clause, then check agreement and pronoun reference before adding further ideas.

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