Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
People thesedays live a longer life than they used to be in numerous countries.Certain individuals believe that an elder population creates issues for authorities.Others consider this population beneficial for the general populace.
On one hand, more elderly people play an important role in connecting the local community by practising the traditions and customs of their forefathers. These traditions help people to stay in touch with each other. Additionally, elders help society to keep it's religion alive by following its rules themselves and advising young population to do so.For instance, these people follow their religion strictly as they used to do in past and they try to spread its laws among the new generation who is more inclined towards technology. Elder people keeps the community engaged and motivated. For example, mostly these people encourage the society by telling them the stories and facts about their past.
On the other hand, aging population might cause problems for the state because it has to maintain the country economic level because aging population do nothing because of their haelth issues so it might can affect the country's financial situation.
In conclusion, advantages of having an aging population outweighing the disadvantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
You address the topic by presenting cultural and community benefits, then acknowledging a possible financial burden on the state. However, the response only partially answers how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages: the conclusion states that advantages outweigh disadvantages, but this position is not explained or supported by a comparison. The benefits are repeated through examples about traditions, religion and storytelling, while the disadvantage is only briefly mentioned and not developed. The response also falls short of the required 250 words, which limits the opportunity to explain and support your ideas. To strengthen the response, develop both sides with specific consequences and examples, and explain why one side is more significant overall.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph beginning “On one hand,” a contrasting paragraph beginning “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. These signposts help readers identify the two sides. However, progression within the main body is limited: several sentences repeat the idea that older people preserve traditions and motivate the community, rather than building distinct points. The disadvantage paragraph is very short, so the discussion feels unbalanced, and the conclusion does not follow from a developed comparison. Some linking is also awkward, such as “For instance” followed by a further example that largely repeats the preceding claim. Organise each paragraph around a clear main point, then explain its effect and support it with a relevant example.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “aging population,” “traditions and customs,” “authorities,” and “financial situation,” which makes the subject clear. There is also an attempt to vary wording with “elderly people” and “elders.” However, the range is limited and several choices or forms are inaccurate or unnatural, including “elder population,” “keep it's religion alive,” and “maintain the country economic level.” Spelling errors such as “thesedays” and “haelth” are noticeable, while repeated references to “these people” reduce precision. Aim for accurate collocations and a wider range of terms for the effects of population aging, such as pension costs, healthcare demand, and intergenerational knowledge. Proofread spelling and possessive forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a clause with “because” and a relative clause in “the new generation who is more inclined towards technology.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For example, “aging population do nothing” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “it might can affect” combines modal verbs incorrectly. In “advantages … outweighing the disadvantages,” the verb form does not make a complete conclusion, and “who is” does not agree with the plural meaning of “generation” as used here. There are also missing spaces after full stops and inconsistent punctuation. Practise complete sentence patterns, agreement, and modal constructions, then check each sentence for a clear subject and finite verb.
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