Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Introduction:

Now a days the people are living longer than because of their good health care and good diet, some people think that it is beneficial for the society, but some number of people also think that they are burden on the government and it can also create problems. In my opnion, Disadvantages are greater.

Body Paragraph 1 - Advantages

On one hand the Old People are Valuable for the Society and for the younger generation bcause they have alot of experiences alot of knowledge and many other useful skills which can become so useful for the younger people in their coming life, for example if a person retired at the age of 60 from a government post But after that it he/she can play a important role in teaching where he/she can teach student more about his/her life struggles tips and tricks and other so many things which can become helpful for those students in their upcoming life.

Body Paragraph 2 - Dis Advantages

On the other hand Old people can create some seriouse problem for the government in finance sector. Old people need more health care and much more good treatment so it is costly for government. Secondly when Old people retires from their Position at work there are many few people left at that sector for work and this can incrase worload as well as taxes as well for the people who were there for the work. for example in Japan the number of Old people are increasing day by day and it is effecting their economy in a very negative way.

Conculsion:

In Conculsion, Although Old people makes a huge impact on society but their experiences and skills which is useful for other but I think the disadvantages are more because it is much costly for the the government and there is alot of problems also in working area where only few people left for the work and the quality of the work can also be effected.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear view in the introduction: “Disadvantages are greater.” The conclusion returns to this position, and the examples about a retired teacher and Japan help make the discussion relevant. However, the comparison of advantages and disadvantages is not fully developed: the value of older people’s experience is illustrated, but its wider benefit to society is not explained, while the economic costs are asserted more than demonstrated. The point about fewer workers and increased taxes also needs a clearer explanation of how an aging population causes these effects. To strengthen the response, explain the mechanisms behind each claim and weigh them directly before concluding that the disadvantages are greater.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The signposts “On one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In Conclusion” make the direction of the argument easy to follow. Within paragraphs, however, ideas sometimes run together, especially in the long example about a retired person teaching students. The second body paragraph moves from healthcare costs to workforce shortages and taxes without clearly showing the links between these points. Some transitions are also mechanical, and references such as “they” and “this” could be more precise. Use shorter, more focused sentences and connect each supporting example explicitly to the paragraph’s main claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “health care,” “government,” “retired,” “experiences,” and “economy,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. For example, “burden on the government” is understandable but broad, while “much more good treatment” and “incrase worload” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling and word-form errors such as “opnion,” “seriouse,” and “Conculsion” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise phrases related to public spending and the workforce, and check spelling carefully. The suggestions below offer alternatives that fit this topic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional example beginning “if a person retired at the age of 60” and a contrast introduced by “Although.” However, control is uneven, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes make the reader work to follow the meaning. For instance, “the people are living longer than because” is incomplete, and “Old people makes a huge impact” has a subject–verb agreement error. The teaching example is also a run-on sentence with several clauses joined without clear punctuation. Practise building complex sentences with one clear main clause, and check agreement and articles when revising. More accurate sentence boundaries would make your ideas easier to understand.

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