Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many nations, individuals are nowadays living longer compare to the past. Some people believe that increasing in number of elder people emerges problem for governments. While, other think that there are important to has more older people in society. I will discuss both of view in upcoming paragraph.

On the one hand, Nowadays people living longer life than ever before because of advanced medical treatment and technology enhanced people's quality of life. So, there are continuously increasing in number of older people and it can create some problem for government. Such as increasing population create food shortage, increase unemployment, require more number of residential areas which tend to deforestation etc. In most cases, the older people requires more open space and freedom of living so they are not comfortable to live in urban area. Nowadays people busy in their worklife so they are unable to take care of older people and this is main reason for rapidly increasing in number of oldage homes. Government sometimes fail to provide facilities to people because of high population. For example, public transport services experience crowded because older people travel unnecessarily.

On the other hand, Older people have so many life experiences and they have lots of knowledge which can be helpful to the younger generation. So, the good number of older people in socities can be helpful to live better life. In so many countries where mother and father both doing jobs and older people plays a vital role in nurturing their grandchildren they aslo teach them moral values and good habits.

From my perspective, I partially agree with having older people in socities can be benefits more but it also create such problems which hard to handle in future so aging population has more disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a clear final view that the disadvantages are greater, so the response is relevant to the task. However, the position is not consistently clear: the introduction says you will discuss both views, while the conclusion says you “partially agree” that benefits are greater before concluding that aging has more disadvantages. The disadvantages are listed—food shortages, unemployment, housing demand and pressure on services—but several are asserted rather than explained, and some links to older people are unclear. The benefits paragraph offers a relevant example of grandparents helping working parents, but it is brief. Develop fewer points with clearer explanations and examples, and state your position consistently from the introduction through the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal the shift between the two sides, and the ideas within each paragraph are generally related. However, progression is sometimes weakened by a list of claims without clear links, particularly the sequence about food, employment, housing and deforestation. The example about crowded public transport also does not clearly support the point about government facilities. Some linking is mechanical, and “While” at the start of the introduction does not connect smoothly to the preceding sentence. Use clearer cause-and-effect links and make each example directly support its paragraph’s main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “advanced medical treatment,” “quality of life,” “nurturing their grandchildren” and “moral values.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “deforestation” and “residential areas.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear: “increasing in number of elder people emerges problem” and “public transport services experience crowded” are not natural expressions. Spelling and word-form errors such as “socities,” “aslo” and “oldage” also reduce control. Build a more reliable range of phrases for describing demographic change and public-service pressures, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause with “because” and a relative clause in “older people, which can be helpful to the younger generation.” However, control is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “individuals are nowadays living longer compare to the past,” “other think,” and “older people plays a vital role”; these show problems with verb forms and subject–verb agreement. Articles and sentence construction are also inconsistent, as in “there are important to has more older people.” Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then add subordinate clauses, checking agreement, verb forms and punctuation in each sentence.

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