Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Day-by-day population is increasing at an alarming rate . In most of the nations, elderly people are living more than expected and isome people say that it creates burden for the government, whereas others believe that it benefits the society. This essay sheds light on a few merits as well as demerits of this phenomenon.

Looking at the bright side, the most significant merit is that elders shape the mindset as well as habits of children. When children spend time with their grown ups, they get to know about the cultural and historical background of the country. Moreover, they learn social values from their elders. Apart from that, it helps strengthen reationships between families. Most elders want their children as well as grandchild to talk with them about their day and personal life. So, they spend time together cracking jokes and discussing the problems of life. Resultantly, children will know the importance of family relationships.

Looking at the dark side, it must not be ignored that it creates burden for the government. The governement has to spend huge amount of money on infrastructure and health care facilities. So, that elders can access those facilities easily. Besides, the government has to give pansions to elderly people. As, they can not work for fulfilling their daily needs. If the government gives small portion of money to adults they can buy things required for their survival.

Having discussed the topic at length, I conclude that this trend is a mixed blessing. Although, elderly people can help in the development of skills in young children and help children teach the significance of families, it negatively affects the expenes of the government. All in all, from a broader perspective the advantages of this phenomenon overshadow its disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear final position: the advantages “overshadow” the disadvantages. The benefits you identify—older people passing on cultural knowledge and social values, and strengthening family relationships—are relevant, as is the pressure on public spending for healthcare and pensions. However, the discussion is unevenly developed. The benefits are explained through examples of family interaction, while the disadvantages are mostly listed; the claim that older people cannot work, for instance, is too broad and needs qualification. The introduction also promises a discussion of merits and demerits without indicating how far you think the advantages outweigh the costs. Develop the comparison by explaining why the benefits are more significant, and support both sides with more precise examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “Looking at the bright side” and “Looking at the dark side” makes the organisation easy to follow, and the main ideas generally progress logically. However, some linking is mechanical or awkward: “So” and “Besides” introduce points without always showing their precise relationship, and “So, that elders can access those facilities easily” is an incomplete sentence rather than a smooth continuation. The conclusion repeats earlier points but does not clearly compare their relative importance. To improve, connect causes and consequences more explicitly, use pronouns with clear references, and make the final paragraph synthesise why one side outweighs the other.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “cultural and historical background,” “social values,” “health care facilities,” and “pensions.” Phrases such as “mixed blessing” and “broader perspective” also show attempts to use less common expressions. However, several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems reduce precision: “elders shape the mindset” is broad, “spend huge amount of money on infrastructure” is not clearly tied to the needs described, and “give pansions” contains a spelling error. Other errors include “reationships,” “governement,” and “expenes.” Some expressions, such as “grown ups,” are informal for this essay. Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling carefully; this will make your ideas sound more natural and academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause beginning “Although” and a conditional sentence with “If the government gives…”. Most of the message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect accuracy. In the opening, “elderly people are living more than expected and isome people say” has faulty coordination and an unclear verb structure. There are also agreement and number problems in “their children as well as grandchild,” and “the government has to spend huge amount” needs an article. Sentence boundaries are sometimes incorrect: “So, that elders can access those facilities easily” is a fragment, while “As, they can not work…” is also incomplete. Practise joining dependent clauses to main clauses and checking articles, agreement, and punctuation.

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