Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is believed by a few individuals that people are living longer than before and thay believe grey polulation create problems for governments, while others argue that society has benefits of eldery people if they are living in the society.

On the one hand, it is very important to have eldery people in society. They can gave knowledge to young ones about culture. They experienced their life so they have better knowledge than adults. Moreover, as elder poeple have more knowledge and valuable life experience, they can provide guidance to the younger generation so that they can make informed desicion about their education and career. Apart from this having grandparents in a family is beneficial for children because they can gave enough time to them. In this busy world parents are busy at their and jobs so they cannot gave proper time to their children. Children can spend time with their grandparents which can do not make them alone and they do not feel stressed.

On the other hand, some people feel that eldery people can create problems for government. To justify it, many people live without their elders. They leave their elders to the old-age home. Which is funded by government. Government have to invest more money to gave facilities to elder people. Furthermore, elder people needed more health care services so government have to pay more attentions on the health care services of eldery people. Government have to give them pentions because as we know tjhey cannot do any work in their older age so they do not have money to fulfill their needs.

In conclusion, I think the advantages of having elder people outweigh the disadvantages. Although, government have to pay more attentions to eldery people. However, they can gave knowledge about future to adults and can spend more time to young ones which cannot make them depressed and stressed.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your response addresses both sides of the question and gives a clear position in the conclusion: you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The benefits of elders sharing cultural knowledge and guiding younger people are relevant, as is the point that public healthcare and pensions create costs for governments. However, the discussion is unevenly developed. The family-support point is explained with a consequence for children, while the government-cost points are mostly listed; for example, explain why these costs are difficult to manage or how older people might also contribute to society. The claim that grandparents prevent children from feeling stressed is also asserted rather than supported. Develop each main idea with a specific explanation or example to make the comparison more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates your view. Linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages. Within paragraphs, however, connections can feel mechanical, and some references are unclear. For instance, “They experienced their life” does not clearly connect the elders’ experience to the claim that they have better knowledge, while “Which is funded by government” is an incomplete sentence and its reference is not fully clear. The conclusion also uses “Although” and “However” in a way that makes the relationship between ideas awkward. Use clearer links between each claim and its explanation, and avoid fragments.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “guidance,” “younger generation,” “health care services,” and “pensions.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors reduce precision. Examples include repeated forms such as “eldery” and “elder poeple,” “grey polulation,” and “give them pentions.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “make them alone” and “pay more attentions.” These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your overall argument, but they make the writing less fluent and sometimes require interpretation. Check spelling carefully and learn common word partnerships for discussing ageing, public services, and family support.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a purpose clause in “so that they can make informed desicion” and a reason clause beginning “because.” The main ideas are generally understandable, but there are some recurring errors in verb forms, agreement, sentence boundaries, and punctuation. For example, “They can gave knowledge” should use a consistent modal pattern, and “Government have to invest” has a subject–verb agreement problem. “They leave their elders to the old-age home. Which is funded by government” incorrectly separates a dependent clause into a fragment. The final sentence also combines “Although” and “However” awkwardly. Practise accurate modal constructions and review how to join dependent clauses; this will make your varied sentences clearer and more controlled.

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