Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the modern era, there is a huge debate ongoing is that in many countries, indiviuals are now living longer as compare to past. Due to this, some people have the opinnion that they are making problems for the government, but others think that it is benifficial, if society has more elderly people.

In the further paragraphs, we will discuss in detail about how, the pros of having an population outweight the cons. We will give reasons for this according to my own knowledge and experience.

To being with, society need professional and experienced people at every stage. People who live longer, are very benifficial for the society, because their experience is required for improving our society.

Furthermore, government is also required some experienced and professionals employes. Because these employes can lead the young generation to make them expert in their fields.

On the other hand, people who are too old, like they are not able to do work at this stage of life can be create problems for the government. Because, in the westren countries, people sent the old ones to old age homes and their, they totally depend on the government. In this cause, it will not wrong that they are becoming a problem for the government.

According to my own experience, when I started my own buisness and open a cafe, I needed a professional person who can lead me at this stage about how to run my buisness smothly. Therefore, I think that their are many benifits of old citizens in our society, if we use them in correct way.

To sum up, we have discussed in detail about both statements and the result is that old people are not burden on the government, although the are helpfull for the government if we use them with right technique.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, and you address both sides by discussing older people’s experience and the costs of supporting those unable to work. The example of needing guidance when starting a café helps make the value of experience more concrete. However, the advantages are mainly asserted rather than explained: for instance, you say experienced people can improve society and guide younger workers, but do not show how this benefits society or governments in practical terms. The disadvantage is also narrowly focused on care homes and government dependence. Develop both sides with specific consequences and explain why the benefits outweigh the costs; this would make your response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate discussion of advantages and disadvantages, a personal example, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “Furthermore,” “On the other hand,” and “To sum up” help readers follow the broad direction. However, progression is sometimes mechanical, and the introduction’s promise to discuss the issue “in the further paragraphs” is unnecessary. Some connections are unclear: the café example supports the value of experienced people, but its relationship to government benefits is not made explicit. The conclusion repeats the position without drawing together the main reasons. Use clearer links between claims and examples, and organise the body into focused paragraphs that develop one main point at a time.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “experienced,” “elderly people,” “government,” and “old age homes,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “government,” “experience,” and “benefits.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “indiviuals,” “opinnion,” “benifficial,” and “westren,” as well as awkward word choices such as “use them in correct way.” These reduce precision and sometimes make the writing less natural. Build a wider set of topic-specific terms and check spelling carefully; choose expressions that describe older people respectfully and explain their contributions precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “because” and “if,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “society need” should use a singular verb, while “government is also required some” has an incorrect verb pattern. The sentence beginning “Because, in the westren countries” is a fragment, and “can be create problems” has an incorrect verb form. These patterns sometimes make the reader work to understand your meaning. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then build longer sentences with subordinate clauses and check each for a complete main clause.

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