Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

There are many countries in the World where people are living longer than ever before. Some people have opinion that an aging population creates problems for governments, while other people think elderly people have an important role in the society.

To begin, in many developed countries people are living longer life than ever in the past. There are many circumstances of living healthier as their lifestyle makes them healthy. The main role beyond this is the role of food and the medicine. Some people opinion that elderly people creates problem for the goverment. The philiosophy beyond this is that they think that older people took part in political activities. They demand more schemes for the overall benefit of society. They engage in national activities more than youth.

Moreover, some people have thought that society has more advantages if their are more aged people. I believe that older play ion great role in the society. First of all, they have more knowledge and experience of everything than younger generation. They know more about their culture and history. They suffer every good and bad time. They have alived their traditional cultures which they might have learnt from their forefathers. For example. a father plays a role of key element in the home. With the absence of a older person in the home, life becomes more difficult.

To conclude, I would say that the living of older people have a great benefit on the society. Although some people that think they creates problems in society but the advantages of their presence outweigh its disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the topic and state a clear overall view in the conclusion: the benefits of older people’s presence outweigh the disadvantages. You also offer relevant points about experience, cultural knowledge and family life. However, the response only partially develops the comparison asked for. The disadvantages are mentioned mainly through vague claims about political activity and demands for government schemes, without explaining the pressure an aging population may place on public services or budgets. The benefits are also asserted rather than fully supported; for example, the father’s role at home is not clearly connected to society-wide advantages. Develop each side with specific explanations and examples, and make your position explicit throughout, not only at the end.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “To begin,” “Moreover” and “To conclude” help identify stages. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the first body paragraph moves from longer life and health to political participation without clearly linking these ideas to government problems. Some references are also unclear, including “their” in “if their are more aged people” and “they” in the final sentence. Repeated transitions do not always show the relationship between points. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, then explain and illustrate it in a logical sequence, using pronouns and linking phrases with clear references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “aging population,” “elderly people,” “experience,” “culture” and “government schemes,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or unnatural choices make parts difficult to interpret. Examples include “living longer life,” “the philosophy beyond this,” “older play ion great role” and “They have alived their traditional cultures.” Spelling errors such as “ goverment” and “philiosophy” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural collocations and check word forms and spelling. For instance, explain that older people can “pass on cultural traditions” rather than saying they have “alived” them.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “while” and a concession beginning “Although,” but control is inconsistent. Errors occur frequently in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction: “elderly people creates,” “people are living longer life,” “a older person,” and “Although some people that think they creates problems” are examples. These errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Punctuation is also unreliable, as in “For example.” before a sentence that continues the example. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and article use, and build complex sentences from clear clauses. Proofreading each sentence for its subject, verb and punctuation would improve clarity.

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