Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many countries people are now living longer than ever before. Some people think that elderly creates problems for government and other people think that there are benefits if we have more elderly among us.

Elderly among us is a great benefit as elder people have more experiences of life and they have alot of things to taught us. If we feel any difficulty in solving some life problems we can seek help from elder people. Elder people can tell us about history as they survive that time which we are just reading in our books. We have live examples of the history with ourselves.

As in our family my grandfather is alive. He is telling us the stories of wars which we just only read in the books and also he is telling us advices when we start some work or we need help in taking any decison.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You give a relevant position by saying that elderly people are “a great benefit,” and you support this with their life experience, knowledge of history, and advice. The example about your grandfather makes the point more personal and concrete. However, the response does not address the disadvantages of an aging population or explain to what extent the benefits outweigh them, so the central comparison in the question is missing. The ideas are also only briefly developed, and there is no concluding judgement. The response contains 136 words, below the required 250; 13 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. To improve, discuss at least one government or social challenge, weigh it against the benefits, and develop both sides with examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic sequence: it introduces the topic, gives reasons why older people can be beneficial, and then provides a family example. This makes the main line of thought understandable. However, the development is very short and does not form a complete argument, particularly because there is no paragraph or transition addressing disadvantages and no conclusion. Several ideas are joined mainly through repeated “and” or “as,” which makes the connections feel simple rather than clearly signposted. The repeated phrase “elder people” also makes the flow less smooth. Use separate paragraphs for the benefits, disadvantages, and your overall judgement, and add linking expressions that show contrast and consequence, such as “however” and “as a result.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “life problems,” “history,” “wars,” and “advice.” The personal example is also clear despite some imprecise wording. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repetitive or unnatural, such as “elderly among us,” “elder people,” and “live examples of the history.” There are also word-choice and spelling problems, including “advices” and “decison,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise expressions related to the topic, such as “older adults,” “first-hand experience,” and “historical events.” Varying your vocabulary and checking spelling and collocations would make the response more fluent and appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You communicate the main ideas using mostly simple sentences, and some longer structures are attempted, for example, “If we feel any difficulty … we can seek help from elder people.” The meaning is generally recoverable, but the range of sentence forms is limited and errors recur. Examples include “elderly creates problems,” where the subject needs a suitable plural or noun phrase, and “they have alot of things to taught us,” which has problems with verb form and sentence construction. “As in our family my grandfather is alive” is also not a complete, natural sentence structure. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, and verb patterns, then combine ideas using controlled complex sentences. Proofreading for sentence boundaries and punctuation will also help.

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