Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's world overpoplulation has become a major problem for many countries. In few countries the death rate is less than the birth rate. For example, Japan has more elderly people than young population. However, having aging people around us is helpful because they carry the knowledge and information on a vast level. I agree it is an advantage to have aging population to a larger extent.

Aging population have a wider knowledge of the society, they spend years to accquire this wisdom. Aging population can be really helpful for the society by sharing the information, expertise and taking the teaching role to educate the younger people. From my perspective, this is one of the main advantage of having aging population.

Furthermore, usually aging population have sympathetic and calm nature and they are excellent peacekeeper. This traits are beneficial for a country where peace is much required. They tend to understand the human relation better than others. One of the best example is Japan where 57% of its population is above 55 years of age. Aging people works at restaurants, owns different kinds of business and runs shops. They are also contributing in the society.

On the other hand, having aging population can create problems like the work rate in the industry could reduce and aging population is tend to become physically weak. They cannot offer the amount of workload a normal youngster can give. Also, aging population's immune system tends to get weak. So they can become burdern on the goverment.

However, these reasons can not over shadow the benefits they bring into the society.

Therefore, On a large extent i believe that advantages of having aging population outweighs the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear position: you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The points about older people sharing knowledge, teaching younger generations, and contributing through work are relevant. You also acknowledge possible pressure on industry and healthcare. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that older people are “excellent peacekeeper[s]” and understand relationships better needs a clearer link to wider social benefits. The Japan example is also not fully connected to the argument, and the statistic is presented without context. Develop each main point with a specific explanation or example, and make the comparison between benefits and costs more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs presenting benefits, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “Furthermore,” “On the other hand,” and “Therefore” help signal the direction of the argument. This makes the essay generally easy to follow. At times, however, connections between ideas are abrupt or repetitive. The Japan example follows the point about older people’s calm nature but does not clearly support it; it shifts instead to their employment and business activity. Some references, such as “these reasons,” could be more precise about which disadvantages are being weighed. Use topic sentences that establish each paragraph’s focus and link examples directly to the claim they illustrate.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “expertise,” “immune system,” “workload,” and “contributing,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “teaching role” and “peacekeeper.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “on a vast level,” “work rate in the industry,” and “burdern on the goverment.” Spelling errors such as “overpoplulation,” “accquire,” and “peacekeeper” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall argument, but they limit precision. Build a bank of natural collocations for ageing, employment, and public services, and proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “However” and a conditional-style claim about industry. The main meaning is usually clear, but errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “Aging population have” should use a singular subject or a plural noun, while “one of the main advantage” needs a plural noun. In “aging population is tend to become physically weak,” the verb pattern is incorrect. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “Therefore, On a large extent i believe.” Review subject–verb agreement, article use, and verb patterns, then check each sentence for a complete and correctly punctuated structure.

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