Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, technology has become very fast and it also effects medical and health department. Aging is a natural process of life that everyone has to be experienced. Some people think that aging brings many advantages, while others thought that it has many disadvantages. I can explain it by my own opinion and also explain the advantages and disadvantages.

Firstly, I give some advantages about the aging people. Aging people give some advises to the previous time and teach us what is wrong or write. However, the technology is fast and we should make better decisions but aging people makes perfect in the right pathway. Moreover, they are physical perfect because of better diet. For example, they did not eat the fast food with pleasure. So, that's why they become very active. They helped the poor people with great effort. And did not feel it shy. Furthermore, aging people are living longer than ever before.

Secondly, aging people also has many disadvantages. Nowadays, aging people become very weak due to pollution or eating some unhealthy foods. Hoeever, cost of living is very high. Aging people face many diseases and have some health issues. So cost of medicines, drips reaches to peak and poor people not effort is easy with low incomes. That's why they face many difficulties. For example, aging people have some mind issues. It become aa large difiiculty to survive like a normal person.

If I talk about myself, it has both advantages and disadvantages but depends on the income and condition. So people should face it with big heart and make any mess in mind. They are very beneficial to make a better society. They do not creates any problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response recognises that the topic has both advantages and disadvantages and gives a personal view, especially in the conclusion: “it has both advantages and disadvantages.” However, it does not clearly answer the key question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The opening mainly promises to explain both sides, and the final claim that older people “do not creates any problems” conflicts with the discussion of illness and costs. Several points are relevant, such as older people sharing experience and needing medical support, but they are brief or unclear; the claims about diet and helping poor people are not convincingly connected to the question. State a consistent judgement about which side is stronger, then explain and support a few relevant reasons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Moreover,” and “Secondly” help signal the sections. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because ideas are listed without clear links. For example, the advantages paragraph moves from advice to diet, fast food, activity, and helping poor people without explaining how these points connect. Some linking phrases are also used mechanically, including repeated “So” and “That's why.” The conclusion introduces a position that does not clearly follow from the preceding discussion. Group related points, explain the relationship between each example and its main idea, and use referencing and transitions more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with frequent imprecise choices that sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to understand. Phrases such as “aging people,” “very fast,” and “many difficulties” recur or lack precision, while “give some advises to the previous time” and “make any mess in mind” are unclear. There are also spelling errors, including “Hoeever” and “difiiculty,” and incorrect word forms such as “advises” where the noun should be “advice.” The response does attempt topic-related language, including “pollution,” “health issues,” and “cost of medicines,” but these expressions are not always used naturally. Build a more accurate range around ageing, healthcare costs, experience, and social contribution, and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on short, simple sentences and shows limited control of sentence structure. Errors in agreement and verb forms occur frequently, as in “aging people also has,” “aging people makes,” and “They do not creates.” Other examples include “everyone has to be experienced,” which uses an incorrect construction, and “poor people not effort is easy,” where the sentence structure obscures the meaning. There are attempts to connect clauses with “because,” “while,” and “if,” but these do not consistently produce accurate complex sentences. Punctuation and sentence boundaries are also uneven, particularly where sentences begin with “And” or “So.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and complete clause patterns before adding more complex structures.

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