Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, number of countries have individuals who where live for a cenchury or more. Few people were believe that older people make truble for governments and other say this is the benefits for society. I personaly believe this an advantage for our society because elder person has their own knowledge and experince more over they have roots of the traditional culture exceed of this there is a disadvantage, they don't work properly as a yoth.

There is a drawback, large number of older people were affect for jobs because they are not able to do some hardwork. If a nation has older population more than yuth it affect on coutry's economy. For exmaple, A study found that in some counrty the ratio of older people is high then youth that will affet on the economy.

To be more precious, Older person own the number of experionce and knowledge. They see the world and they know that what is beneficial for their grandchild and what is not. They share their knowledge with other and learn form them. For example, my grandfather always share his knowledge to me and says that you should remember this and it willl help you in future.

Futhermore, They hold traditional roots for the culture and believe in there religion. elder person always wear their traditional outfit that represent about their culture. For example, japan is the very known county which is known for their culture as well as forr their religion. The people of there always live their culture.

In conclusion, it might affect on economy but the knowledge they have and the way they hold the traditional root and live out culture, For that it is beneficial for our society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that the benefits outweigh the drawback, and you address both sides by discussing economic effects alongside older people’s knowledge and cultural role. The examples about your grandfather and Japan help make your points relevant. However, the economic disadvantage is only briefly explained: the claim that older people affect jobs and the economy is not clearly connected to how governments face problems. The benefits are also asserted more than developed; for instance, explain how elders’ experience can help families or communities in practical ways. Your conclusion repeats your position but does not weigh the arguments in detail. Develop the reasoning behind each main point and make the comparison between advantages and disadvantages more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the disadvantage and benefits, and a conclusion. This gives the reader a coherent overall route through your argument. You also use signposts such as “For example,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion.” However, some links are mechanical or unclear. “To be more precious” does not clearly signal the next point, and “For that it is beneficial” in the conclusion leaves the relationship between the ideas uncertain. The paragraph about culture also shifts from tradition to religion without explaining the connection. Use more precise transitions and make sure each paragraph develops one main idea in a clear sequence, with references such as “they” clearly tied to older people.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “traditional culture,” “knowledge,” “economy,” and “population,” and these choices help communicate your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or misspelled words make the writing harder to follow, such as “truble,” “yuth,” “experionce,” and “affet.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise: “roots of the traditional culture,” “affect for jobs,” and “live their culture” do not express the intended meaning clearly. Aim to learn topic-specific collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise expressions for employment, economic pressure, cultural heritage, and sharing experience would make your argument clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “because” and “that,” so there is some variety in structure. However, control is inconsistent, and errors often make sentences difficult to understand. For example, “Few people were believe” has an incorrect verb form, while “older people were affect for jobs” has problems with the passive construction and sentence structure. Agreement and articles are also unreliable, as in “elder person has their own knowledge” and “japan is the very known county.” Some sentences join ideas without clear grammatical links, particularly in the conclusion. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, verb forms, and complete sentence patterns before adding more complex clauses.

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