Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In my point of view this will good for the country to have elderly people. Because new persons will takes time to get knowledge about the local rules and law. Elderly people are more sensible personalities in my point of view. They do there best for the welfare of local community. They played there role as a sensible citizen of there societies. For example, I am from Pakistan and the persons living here are from different cultures. They are Punjabi, Pathan, Siraiki and Balochi. They have there own festivals and traditions according tomthere ancestors. They own there land in better way as compared to the forigners. They can face the local harsh environment of there native land. They know the each and every aspect of there land. For example the land of South Punjab has too much harsh temperature about 50 degree celcius that will be unfavoiurable for the foriegners or other people cold native areas

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You take a position in favour of an aging population, and your examples about local knowledge, traditions and adapting to South Punjab’s climate are relevant to that view. However, the response does not address the question fully: it gives reasons for benefits but does not explain the disadvantages or weigh whether the advantages outweigh them. The claim that elderly people support community welfare is also asserted rather than developed with a clear example. The response is substantially below the required 250 words, so there is not enough space to develop and support the argument. To improve, state your position precisely, discuss both sides, and explain why one side is stronger, using specific examples and fuller reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The ideas are mostly connected to a central point: elderly people have valuable knowledge of their communities and environment. The examples about Pakistan’s cultural groups and South Punjab’s heat give the response some progression from a general claim to local detail. However, the writing is presented as one continuous paragraph, and the sequence of claims is not always clear. Repeated openings such as “In my point of view” and “For example” make the links feel mechanical, while the shift from community welfare to land and climate is not explained. Organise the response into an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Use clear references and linking phrases to show how each example supports your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “local community,” “traditions,” “ancestors,” and “harsh environment,” which helps communicate your ideas. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as naming cultural groups and describing South Punjab’s temperature. However, vocabulary is often repetitive or imprecise: “sensible personalities” and “own there land in better way” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling errors such as “forigners,” “unfavoiurable,” and “celcius” also reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of accurate phrases for discussing population and social contributions, and check spelling carefully. Prefer natural collocations such as “older people contribute to their communities” and “adapt to the local climate.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both short statements and longer sentences, and the main meaning is generally recoverable. However, control of basic sentence forms is inconsistent. For example, “this will good” is missing a verb form, “new persons will takes” has incorrect agreement after “will,” and “Because new persons…” is a dependent clause used as a sentence fragment. The repeated use of “there” where a possessive form is needed also affects grammatical accuracy. Most sentences follow simple patterns, so the response shows limited range and does not yet control longer structures reliably. Practise complete sentences, modal verb patterns (“will take”), subject–verb agreement, and possessive forms, then proofread punctuation and sentence boundaries.

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