Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that in many nations the older people are living longer life, others believe that increasing of population has problems to the governments. Although this development has some disadvantages, I believe that the advantages are more significant because it can provide valuable experience and guidance to younger generations.

To begin with, there are several disadvantages associated with aging population. The most significant one is the govenment should provide pensions and healthcares. This is because more elderly people means greater pressure on public budgets, governments may need to invest in good hospitals and elderly-care facilities. Moreover, some citizens may not have family members who care for them so, the organizations can put the support to provide affordable old-age homes and care centers. For example, the young people who are living in other country for work they cannot spend the time with them and feels that burden for them so, they join their parents in old age homes. Therefore, it takes considerable pressure on healthcare and government spending.

However, I believe that the advantages are more substantial. One major benefit is that older people have extensive life experience. This is because they can share traditional knowledge, family values and practical advice. Additionally, children can learn respect, responsibility and moral values for them.For instance, grandparents can teach children about family traditions and how to behave responsibly. As a result, it is more important to spend time with our grandparents because, our parents are busy with their jobs.

In conclusion, although the goverment has the burden to provide the facilities can be a concern, I believe that the benefits of older population outweigh the drawbacks because of they experience, wisdom and moral values.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you acknowledge the pressures on public services but argue that the benefits outweigh them, especially through older people’s experience and guidance. This addresses both sides of the question. The discussion of pensions, healthcare and care facilities is relevant, and the example of grandparents passing on traditions supports your main benefit. However, the advantages are developed less fully than the disadvantages: the essay mainly gives one benefit, and the claim that older people teach responsibility and moral values could be explained further. The comparison of the two sides is also brief, so the conclusion largely repeats your view rather than showing why the benefits are more significant overall. Develop the benefits with another specific impact or example and make the weighing-up more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on disadvantages, a paragraph on advantages and a conclusion. Signposting such as “To begin with,” “However,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the main stages. Within paragraphs, ideas generally progress from a claim to an explanation or example. Some links are mechanical or unclear, though. For example, “This is because” is repeated, and the sentence beginning “For example, the young people…” contains several ideas joined by “so,” making the relationship between working abroad, care homes and government costs difficult to follow. The reference in “care for them” is also not fully clear. Use fewer formulaic transitions and divide complex explanations into clearer sentences with precise references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “public budgets,” “elderly-care facilities,” “traditional knowledge,” and “family values.” These choices show an attempt to discuss the issue beyond basic terms. However, several inaccurate word forms and collocations reduce precision: “increasing of population” is awkward, “healthcares” is not the appropriate form, and “put the support to provide” does not express the intended meaning naturally. Spelling errors such as “govenment” and “goverment” also detract from control. Some wording is repetitive, particularly references to “older people” and “government.” Build accuracy by learning common collocations such as “an ageing population,” “provide support,” and “healthcare services,” and check spelling during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in the opening (“Although this development has some disadvantages”) and explanations introduced by “because.” Meaning is generally understandable, but errors in sentence construction and agreement recur. For example, “more elderly people means” needs plural agreement, while “the young people … they cannot spend the time with them and feels” has an unclear subject and inconsistent verb forms. The opening sentence also joins two independent ideas with a comma, and “because of they experience” uses an incorrect grammatical pattern. Punctuation around “so” and “because” is sometimes misplaced. Practise building accurate complex sentences, checking that each verb matches its subject, and using “because of” before a noun phrase rather than a clause.

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