Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Individuals have a longer life span than ever before in several nations. Various citizens elaborate that aging population creates an issues for the states. Other believe that more old aged individuals are beneficial for their community. From my perspective, the advantages outweigh the drawbacks because they cost the government for their health and accomodation, but they also offer knowlegde and mentorship to others in a society because of their wisdom.

Firstly, rising an older aged citizens could be a headache for the goverment. Because, the state would need to provide them a comfortable accomodation to live . Also, they would need various kinds of medicines, which is a responsibility of the government to provide them. The government will have to keep assistants for taking care of them. For istance, In Pakistan, when a person gets old, their children send him to an 'Old Aged' house where the government takes care of him by providing him a shelter and their required medicines.

Furthermore, along with the drawbacks, there are a benefits of increasing the number of elderly individuals for their society as well. The older aged people have the ability to share knowledge and experinece with adolescents and adults about their life. The teenagers have an opportunity to learn about a solution of any problem from their elders. For instace, kids always ask their their grandparents whenever they face an issue in their lives.

In conclusion, several residents are saying that an increasing elderly people creates issues for the state because of their accomodation and health cost, while other argues that it is helpful for their society to take aid for their problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and state a position in the introduction: the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. The body paragraphs also give relevant points about public costs and the value of older people’s experience. However, the position is not maintained clearly: the conclusion says elderly people create issues and that society can seek help from them, but does not directly confirm which side outweighs the other. The disadvantages are mainly listed, while the benefits are supported by only a brief example about children asking grandparents for advice. Develop the comparison by explaining why mentorship and knowledge-sharing are significant enough to balance the costs, and make your final judgement explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the broad progression. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. For example, “along with the drawbacks” does not clearly introduce a contrast, and the conclusion repeats earlier points without resolving the comparison in the question. The example about Pakistan is placed under the cost argument, but its connection to government responsibility could be explained more clearly. Use contrast markers such as “By contrast” and “Nevertheless,” and make each paragraph build toward the final judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “aging population,” “accommodation,” “medicines,” “mentorship,” and “wisdom,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “old aged individuals,” “rising an older aged citizens,” and “take aid for their problems.” Spelling errors, including “knowlegde,” “experinece,” and “goverment,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural, precise phrases and check spelling carefully. For example, use “older people” or “elderly citizens,” and describe the state as “providing care” rather than “keeping assistants.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a reason clause with “because” and a relative clause beginning “which is a responsibility.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make the relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “an aging population creates an issues,” “Other believe,” and “there are a benefits,” where articles, agreement, or plural forms are incorrect. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention: “Firstly, rising an older aged citizens could be a headache for the goverment. Because…” leaves a dependent fragment, while spaces before full stops appear in “live .” Practise checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and complete sentence structure, especially when joining reasons.

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