Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many parts of the world, individuals are living longer becuase of improvements in healthcare and living condition. Although an ageing population put financial pressure on governments. From my perespective, its advntages outweigh the drawbacks bacause older people can contribute valubale experience to society.

To begin with, one major reson of having an elderly people is that they can share knowledge and experience with younger generations. For example, older worker can guide newly hired young employees and help them developing professional skill. In addition, grandparents can support their families by look after their children while parents are at work. This can reduce childcare expenses and gain strong relationship. Furthermore, many elderly people can participate in community acitivites fund raising for children with serious medical disease such as cancer, lungs failure and brian tumor. As a result, this can encourge young people to participate in such activities.

On the other hand, an ageing population can cause several problems for govermnet. Firstly, older people are more likely to need medical treatment and medical care, which increase public healthcare spending. Secondly, when a large number of people retire government need to collect less tax from wokrer while spending more money on pension. As a result, younger generations may face higher tax and financial responsibilites. However, this problems can slove to improve health amenities and encourge people to save money for their retairment.

In conclusion, although, and ageing populationn put pressure on healthcare and government budget. For my perespective, older people have valubale knowledge, support their families and constribute to communities makiing them a valuable part of society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you believe the advantages outweigh the drawbacks, and the conclusion returns to the value older people bring. You address both sides of the question, explaining contributions through workplace experience, childcare and community activities, as well as pressure on healthcare and pensions. These relevant points are supported with examples, such as older workers guiding new employees. This fits a response that covers the task and develops its main ideas. Some claims, however, are broad or not fully explained: the fundraising example does not clearly show how it offsets the disadvantages, and the proposed solutions to government costs are mentioned without explaining how they would work. Develop the comparison between benefits and costs more explicitly to strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on disadvantages and a conclusion. The progression from one side of the issue to the other is easy to follow, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. This shows coherent organisation and some effective use of cohesive devices. However, the linking can feel mechanical, with several points introduced in a list-like sequence using “In addition,” “Furthermore” and “As a result.” Some connections are also unclear: “this can reduce childcare expenses and gain strong relationship” does not clearly link the two outcomes. Use referencing and transitions that show more precisely how each example supports the main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “financial pressure,” “public healthcare spending,” “pension” and “younger generations.” These choices make the main ideas understandable, and phrases such as “professional skill” and “community activities” show an attempt to use topic-specific language. However, the range and control are limited by repeated basic wording and noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “becuase,” “valubale,” “g govermnet” and “responsibilites.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “gain strong relationship” and “medical disease.” These errors sometimes make the reader pause, even though the intended meaning is generally recoverable. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations as complete phrases, rather than translating individual words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex structures, including a concession in “Although an ageing population put financial pressure on governments” and a relative clause in “older people are more likely to need medical treatment.” However, the concession is left as a sentence fragment, and errors in agreement and verb forms recur: “an ageing population put,” “which increase,” and “government need.” Articles and plurals are also inconsistent, as in “an elderly people” and “older worker.” The conclusion contains a fragment beginning “although,” followed by an incomplete sentence structure. These patterns show that complex forms are being attempted, but they are not yet controlled consistently. Practise checking each sentence for a complete main clause, then review subject–verb agreement and article use.

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