Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many countries, people living age is more in comparison to before. Some people say that more population creates problems for government whereas other say that there are also some benefical if society has more elderly man. This can have both the advantage and disadvantage in this essay. I will attempt to point out some positive and few negative aspects of this statements.

On the one hand, the drawback of this is that growing populations means living more time required more budget from the government. The nations should provide more facilities such as health care, transportation and so on, because the growth of populations needed more such types of facilities which leads the excessive used of money for such activities. For example, our municipility ward number 2 has 10 thousand individuals and the ward number 3 has 30 thousand individuals. Among this two ward the ward number 2 has more developed then ward number 3. This all is happned due to more poulation and the government having less soure of income. Therefore, such types of issues harm nations in the way of develoments.

On the other hand, the merits of this is that older people has more expirence in comparison to young youth. Another important factor is that ealders helps to guide in the right path of life. Similarly, the young one can misleads the path whereas the ealders point them their mistake so that they can realized their mistake.The older people make the society more healthy and refreshment becasue they all spend their whole time in the society. Furthermore, they do different types of activities such as planting plants, organizing various festivals and so on to make the society people happiers.

In conclusion, the long life of people creates troubles to the government to run the systems. Although there are benefits of having older parents in the society which make the society more fresher and natural.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question by discussing government costs and the experience older people can offer, and your conclusion indicates that elderly people bring benefits. However, the task asks how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and your position is not consistently clear: the introduction says you will discuss both sides, while the conclusion mainly restates that there are benefits without directly weighing them against the costs. The cost argument is relevant, but the ward comparison does not clearly show that an ageing population caused the development gap. The benefits about guidance and community activities are also asserted rather than explained with specific examples. State your judgement clearly and develop each main point with a direct explanation or relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on disadvantages, one on advantages, and a conclusion. The contrast between “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” helps readers follow the two sides, and examples are placed within the relevant paragraphs. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. For instance, the comparison between two wards does not connect explicitly to the costs of supporting older people, and the ideas about elders guiding young people and organising festivals are joined without showing how they support the main claim. Some linking phrases, such as “Similarly” and “Furthermore,” feel mechanical or do not mark the relationship precisely. Use clearer topic sentences and explain the link between each example and your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “health care,” “facilities,” “government,” and “organizing various festivals,” so the reader can generally identify your intended ideas. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make meaning less clear. Phrases such as “people living age is more,” “more population,” and “older parents in the society” do not express the intended ideas naturally. There are also frequent spelling and word-form errors, including “benefical,” “municipility,” “expirence,” and “happiers.” These errors sometimes require the reader to work out the meaning. Build a reliable set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling and word forms; for example, use “ageing population,” “older adults,” and “public expenditure” accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use some sentence variety, including a reason clause with “because,” a relative clause in “facilities which leads…,” and contrastive structures such as “Although there are benefits…”. However, the range is limited, and attempts at longer sentences often contain errors in agreement, verb forms, or sentence construction. Examples include “growing populations means,” “older people has,” and “the ealders helps”; these subjects require matching plural verbs. The final sentence beginning “Although” is also incomplete as a standalone sentence. Articles and plural forms are inconsistent, as in “the society” and “the young one.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with subordinate clauses, checking subject–verb agreement and whether each sentence is complete.

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