Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In this modern era, every people lives a very healthy and pure life. In this time most of the peoples lives very longer life. Some peoples creats very issue of this matter, they said that over population is the problem for the government while others think that this is very benefecial for the society has lot of the elderly people.

In my experiece, over population is very large problem for the country and the peoples. I gives my experience with a proof. If the country has the over populations the are not go on a succed way. The facilities avilable from the country is limited, avery person is not use it. If the college has made for 200 students how 400 students read there. Jobs remains very few. Every person lives very simple and poor life. Instead of makes progress of the country its go to downfall.

Advantages of the over population intead of disadvantages is very low. Old peoples are very usefel in some stages. They gives a better advice and help in every field od the life. Goverment shuould take steps to control the population for better facilities. Technology has totally chnaged concept of over populatoin is finished. Every people wants to control the population to lives a better life.

The necessary steps are taken to control populations.All person wants to proved their worth in all activitis of the life. so everyone lives very better life. Its is very usefull for others and us. Lives a better life is better than the longer life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a clear general view that population growth creates problems, and you briefly acknowledge that older people can offer advice. However, the response only minimally addresses the actual question, which asks whether the advantages of an ageing population outweigh its disadvantages. Much of the discussion concerns overpopulation in general—limited college places, few jobs and poverty—rather than the effects of having more elderly people. The benefits are mentioned only briefly, with no specific example or explanation of how they might help society, and the comparison between advantages and disadvantages is not developed. To strengthen the response, focus on ageing specifically, explain both sides with relevant examples, and state clearly how far the benefits do or do not outweigh the costs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has separate paragraphs for an introduction, disadvantages, advantages and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad sections. However, ideas are not arranged in a consistently logical progression: the discussion shifts from an ageing population to overpopulation, then to technology and population control, without explaining how these points connect to the question. Linking phrases such as “while others” and “Instead of” are attempted, but relationships between ideas are often unclear, and references such as “this matter” and “it” do not always identify a clear subject. The conclusion also introduces claims about proving one’s worth and living better without drawing together the earlier comparison. Build each paragraph around one relevant point and connect examples directly to it.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

Your vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and errors in word choice, word form and spelling sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. For example, “over population” is used where the task concerns an ageing population, while “very usefel” and “very benefecial” rely on imprecise wording. There are also frequent spelling errors, including “experiece,” “succed,” and “populatoin.” Some relevant terms, such as “government,” “facilities” and “advice,” show an attempt to discuss the topic, but the range is not yet sufficient to express the comparison precisely. Learn and use topic-specific phrases such as “pressure on pension systems” and “older people’s contribution to society,” checking spelling and collocations as you revise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Sentence structures are very limited, and frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction sometimes distort meaning. Examples include “every people lives,” “Some peoples creats,” and “I gives my experience,” where the subject and verb do not agree. In “If the country has the over populations the are not go on a succed way,” the conditional clause and main clause are difficult to interpret. Most sentences follow simple patterns, with little accurate use of complex structures; punctuation is also inconsistent, as in “control populations.All person.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled clauses using “because,” “although” and “if.” Check subject–verb agreement and verb forms in every sentence.

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