Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays many countries changed their living standard so that's why people live loger compare to the past, so therefore many individuals have concern about elderly peoples, they thinks aged people create much problems for the authority, however others thinks having aged peoples in society has a major impact. From my view having elder person in society is very crucial.

To begin with, there are lot of people in society, they belives aged person has fewer amount of thinking ability as well as they behave like a children, so they can do things that is very detrimental for them same as for the goverment, however they thinks aged person does not desreve any extra fecilities and also freedome. One of major reasone for that is, elder peoples have lot of time so they can make missbehaviour with each other and fight with others, also they spent lot of money.

In contrast, having understandable aged person in house even in society is very beneficial, beacuse elder person has lot of experience to share and teach children,what to do and what not. Also a elder person has knowledge that make whole house or even whole society very better, however aged peoples work as a medium that spreds spirituality and their culture, in today's era most of the elder peoples like to visit temples and do some kind of devotional thing they sings some devotional songs and do preyer and give good advice to childerns of society.

In conclusion, aged person is not stress and load for society and person but it is asset for them, so from my point of view, every person they lives in society should respect the elderly persons and give them importance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You present a clear overall view that older people are an asset, especially in the conclusion, and you give relevant reasons such as sharing experience, teaching children, and preserving culture and spirituality. However, the response does not fully weigh the advantages against the disadvantages. The disadvantages paragraph mainly reports what “a lot of people” believe, including that older people have less thinking ability and spend money, rather than explaining the actual pressures an aging population may place on governments. The advantages are also asserted more than developed; for example, the value of elders’ experience could be supported with a specific example. Develop both sides more clearly and make the extent of your judgement explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph presenting disadvantages, a contrasting paragraph on benefits, and a conclusion. Connectors such as “To begin with,” “In contrast,” and “In conclusion” help signal this progression. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. In the first body paragraph, “however” joins ideas that do not form a clear contrast, and the long opening sentence makes the main point difficult to follow. References such as “they” and “them” are sometimes unclear, particularly when several groups are mentioned. Use shorter, more focused sentences and make each paragraph’s central claim explicit; then connect supporting details to that claim with clearer referencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “elderly,” “experience,” “spirituality,” “culture,” and “asset.” These choices help communicate your main ideas, but the range is limited and several inaccurate or repetitive expressions make the writing less clear. Examples include “elder peoples,” “fewer amount of thinking ability,” “make missbehaviour,” and “freedome.” Some phrases also do not express the intended meaning precisely, such as “understandable aged person.” Spelling errors, including “loger,” “goverment,” and “desreve,” are noticeable. Build a more accurate set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling and collocations; this will make your ideas easier to understand and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses joined with “because,” “so,” and “however,” but control is inconsistent. Agreement and verb forms are frequent problems: “they thinks,” “they belives,” and “elder person has” do not consistently match their subjects. Articles and plurals are also often inaccurate, as in “a elder person” and “like a children.” Several sentences run together or have unclear clause structure, especially the opening sentence and the sentence beginning “In contrast.” These errors sometimes make the reader work to identify the relationships between ideas. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, then use complex clauses only when you can control their structure.

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