Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for the government. while others argue that there are benefits if society has more elderly people this has become a wide spread phenomenon. While this development brings a certain drawback I firmly believe that merits outweighs its downsides.

Primarily advantages for society having elderly people has experienced they can offer guidance from life lessons and long experienced from their own life. culture preservations they can help us pass on traditions, values and stories, For instance - when I was young I asked my grandfather about the history and culture of my country, They tell me stories and help me in increasing my knowledge and love towards my country. Moreover he also tells me why and how do we celebrate festivals, since childhood he taught me vital things that help me building my career, life, and so on.

Primarily disadvantages of aging population creates problems for government. The major problem for the government is resource strain increased demand for water, food, housing and energy and urban challenges like traffic congestion, slums and pollution rise in cities. For example - government needs to spend on citizens from this the government majority of expense will be spend on the citizens, while other sectors like public transport, education and health care will be ignored by that.

In conclusion despite the noticeable drawback overpopulation and problems for government associated with the overall advantages for more impact full it is highly recommended that ageing population can put pressure on the government finance, older people also contribute to society through their experienced, knowledge and guidance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You present a relevant position—that the benefits of older people’s experience and guidance outweigh the disadvantages—and include a personal example about learning from your grandfather. You also identify a government-related drawback, so both sides of the question are addressed. However, the response only partially develops the comparison: the benefits are mainly illustrated through one family example, while the discussion of pressure on public resources is broad and does not clearly explain how it relates specifically to an aging population. The conclusion also introduces “overpopulation,” which is not established in the essay. To strengthen the response, explain the scale and significance of each side and make the weighing of advantages against disadvantages more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion, which gives it some overall organisation. The personal example also follows the point about passing on culture. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow, and linking expressions are sometimes inaccurate or repetitive. For example, “Primarily” introduces both the advantages and disadvantages, while the opening paragraph’s “while others argue…” is not clearly separated from the preceding sentence. The conclusion combines several ideas without a clear final judgement. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, connect examples directly to that point, and use a wider range of accurate transitions and referencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “traditions,” “resource strain,” “traffic congestion,” and “public transport.” These choices show an effort to discuss social and government issues. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations are inaccurate enough to make parts of the argument unclear, such as “culture preservations,” “more impact full,” and “government majority of expense.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “wide spread” and “experienced” where a noun is needed, also reduce precision. Build a bank of accurate collocations for ageing and public services, and check whether each word has the correct form and meaning in its sentence.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to use both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a contrast in the introduction and examples introduced with “For instance.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, verb forms, and punctuation make the response harder to read. For example, “Some people say… while others argue…” is punctuated as a fragment, and “the merits outweighs its downsides” has a subject–verb agreement error. In “They tell me stories,” the tense shifts from the past-tense account, while the final sentence joins several ideas without a clear grammatical structure. Practise building complete sentences with one clear main clause, then check agreement, tense consistency, and punctuation.

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