Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is an interesting topic about older people being consider problems for goverments by many people; while, some tend to believe older people are beneficial. I think having elderly people in our society brings more benefit to the society.

On the one hand, people believe that elderly people are burden to society because their lack of physical or economical contribution towards the society. Older people are most of the time dependent on others for their illness or for some others reason; that's why, people think them as a burden. As they are always sick they cannot contribute to the society much like younger people. For example, a young man can work for society and can be useful when needed, but a old man cannot do much as the younger one.

On the other hand, elderly people are full of experience as they gain though their whole life. Sharing thoese experience to younger people can inspire them to do better in life. Young people can learn many useful things from them and elderly peoples wise knowledge can guide a lost men in their life. Elderly people work their whole life and contributed in many ways to the society. They can teach children and wisen them by sharing their knowledge about the world we live in. Nowdays, young people don't respect the elderly people because they think they are useless burden, but what elderly people did for the society is beyond their imagination.

In conclusion, elderly people are not burden to the sociecty they contribute to the society more than people think. Older people made the society we live in now, they laid the foundation we are enjoying now. So, it is not concering we have more old people in our society it is more concering that we cannot respect them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear in the introduction and conclusion: you believe the benefits of an ageing population outweigh its disadvantages. You also address both sides, identifying dependence and reduced work capacity as drawbacks, and experience, guidance and teaching as benefits. However, the discussion does not fully answer the comparative question: the conclusion asserts that older people contribute more, but does not weigh the benefits against the costs for governments or explain why the benefits outweigh them. Several points are repeated or generalised, such as describing older people as sick or unable to contribute, while the benefits are not supported with a specific example. Develop the comparison and explain how older people can contribute beyond sharing wisdom.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs presenting disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the direction of the argument easy to follow. This clear paragraphing and progression are strengths. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and repeated references to “society” and “elderly people” make the links between ideas less smooth. Some references are unclear, as in “they cannot contribute” and “what elderly people did,” where the intended group or contribution could be specified. To strengthen the flow, use more precise referencing and connect each example directly to the point it supports, rather than adding several similar claims in sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “burden,” “dependent,” “experience,” “foundation,” and “contribute.” There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “laid the foundation,” which help convey your view. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, word-form and spelling errors are noticeable. Examples include “economical contribution” for economic contribution, “wise knowledge,” “wisen them,” “lost men,” and misspellings such as “thoese” and “sociecty.” Repetition of “society,” “burden,” and “contribute” also limits precision. Build a wider set of accurate expressions for older people’s social and economic roles, and check spelling and natural word combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “while” and a reason clause beginning “because.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the main message is generally understandable. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in articles, agreement, plurals and sentence construction can make the reader pause. For example, “elderly people are burden” needs an article or plural form, while “a old man” and “elderly peoples” show article and plural problems. The opening sentence is also awkwardly joined with a semicolon and “while.” Practise building accurate sentences with one clear main clause, then add subordinate clauses; check articles and subject–verb agreement during editing.

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