Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Mortality rate has declined significantly in many countries due to advancement in medical science. As the result, population of senior citizens is gradually increasing as compared to young people. Some people believe the higher number of elder people are burden on the government whereas some argue that society attain benefits from elderly people. In my opinion, there should be a balance in population increase in the count of old persons can result in collaps of economy.

The youth and adults play vital role in the prosperity of a country. Young people contributes in the development of economy by paying taxes on their income. However, the retired people receive pensions and health care facilities from the taxes. If number of aged people will be larger than the tax payers, then providing benefits to the public will become a challenging task for the government. China is the epitome of highest elder population. Due to the fact Chinese government is now encourging people to have more childern to out number the senior citizens in future.Additionally, the old people turns weak with the passage of time. Hence, they cannot contribute in any physical tasks to earn national recognition like young students.

Comparitively an elder individual has more experience of real life than youth. They suggestions and ability to forsee the concequences is necessary for the progress of nation. For instance, majority of the politicians and members of unions are old age people because their thinking capabilities along with their experience are unmatchable.

In conclusion, the expertise of senior citizens can assist in development of the country. While the pressure of fulfilling the needs of elder people on the economy cannot be ignored. In this regard, the government should take appropriate measures to incoporate the abilities of retired people for the betterment of financial circumstances.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a recognisable position: you acknowledge the economic pressure of pensions and healthcare, while arguing that older people contribute experience and judgement. The examples about tax contributions and older politicians are relevant. However, the extent to which advantages outweigh disadvantages is not fully resolved. The introduction calls for “a balance” and warns of economic collapse, while the conclusion emphasises older people’s expertise and recommends using their abilities; the reader is left unsure which side you consider stronger. Some points also need fuller explanation, particularly how older people’s experience benefits society beyond politics. State your comparative judgement clearly and support it with a more developed example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction to disadvantages, advantages and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps distinguish the main arguments, and signposts such as “However,” “Additionally” and “In conclusion” make the direction of the discussion easy to follow. This coherent arrangement is a strength. To make progression more consistently clear, connect each example directly to the claim it supports: the China example, for instance, is introduced after the tax argument but its relevance to the economic burden could be explained more explicitly. Some transitions feel mechanical, and the conclusion’s recommendation does not fully follow from the stated position of seeking balance. Clearer links between claims, evidence and your final judgement would strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “mortality rate,” “prosperity,” “pensions,” “tax payers” and “experience,” and you attempt more formal expressions such as “contribute in the development” and “financial circumstances.” However, inaccurate word choice, collocation and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less natural. Examples include “elder people,” “attain benefits,” “out number,” “national recognition” and “forsee the concequences.” Some expressions appear to be chosen for formality but do not fit the intended meaning. Aim for precise, natural combinations and check spelling carefully; this will help you express relevant ideas without the reader having to interpret awkward phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional and cause-and-effect structures: “If number of aged people will be larger…,” and “Due to the fact…” This shows some range, and the main ideas are generally understandable. Some errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction remain. For example, “Young people contributes” should use a plural verb, while “the old people turns weak” has a similar agreement problem. “If number… will be larger” also needs a more accurate conditional structure, and “Their suggestions and ability… is necessary” has a mismatch between subject and verb. Review agreement and article use, and edit longer sentences for complete, well-formed clauses.

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