Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In alot of countries, the aging population is increasing. Some individuals believe that this can create serious concern for governments. However, other people proposed that there is good side to it too. Although it sounds beneficial, the threats of aging society is more than its benefits.

Elderly people have alot of knowledge and experience through which they can mentor the younger generations. Old people also have strong traditional values and principles that helps them bound the families in a better way as the head of the family. They are also a very reliable source for the child-care. The aged people also helps in caregiving responsiblities.

With the growing number of elderly people, the government has to increase its budget for pensions, hospitals and long-term care centres. Also, a smaller proportion of working-age people can make it harder to fill vacancies and support retirees. For example, instead of having 40 workers and 12 retirees, companies may have 40 workers and 40 retirees. This can lead to lower performance and labour shortage. Also a family with more retired elders and only a few working members who earns, those families can also face serious financial crisis as well

In conclusion, there are many disadvantages of having an aging population with respect to the political,economic and business aspects. But a little benefits for family bonds and intergenerational mentorship. If the government can manage to balance its budget for the rising demands of treatments, pensions, long-term care centres, aging population will not create much problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you argue that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits, and the conclusion returns to this view while noting that government planning could reduce the impact. You address both sides with relevant points, including older people’s experience and family support, alongside pension, healthcare and workforce pressures. The workforce example helps make the economic concern more concrete. However, some ideas are less fully developed than others: the benefits paragraph lists several roles but does not explain their wider social value in much detail, and the claim that an ageing population leads to “lower performance” needs clearer reasoning. To strengthen the response, explain and support each main point more fully, and make the final judgement about the extent of the disadvantages more explicit and consistent with the conclusion’s qualification about government management.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. The contrast between the two sides is easy to follow, and linking phrases such as “However,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the argument. At times, though, cohesion is mechanical or unclear. “Also” is repeated in the disadvantages paragraph, while the final sentence is difficult to follow because several conditions and outcomes are compressed together. The shift from the claim that disadvantages outweigh benefits to the suggestion that ageing “will not create much problems” if managed also needs a clearer link. Use more precise referencing and vary transitions, while ensuring each paragraph develops one central point in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “working-age people,” “pensions,” “long-term care centres,” “intergenerational mentorship,” and “labour shortage.” These choices show an attempt to discuss social and economic effects beyond very basic terms. However, the range is limited in places, and several noticeable word-choice, spelling, or collocation errors reduce precision: “serious concern” is awkward in context, “good side” is informal, and “financial crisis” is too strong for the family situation described. There are also spelling errors such as “responsiblities” and “alot.” Aim for more accurate topic-specific collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise wording would help distinguish government costs, labour-market pressures, and the benefits older people provide.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the concessive opening “Although it sounds beneficial…” and the example introduced by “For example.” The main ideas are generally understandable, but some grammatical errors affect accuracy and occasionally make relationships between ideas harder to follow. For instance, “values and principles that helps” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “a few working members who earns” also has incorrect agreement. In the conclusion, “If the government can manage to balance its budget…, aging population will not create much problems” has problems with articles, plural agreement, and sentence construction. Work on agreement, articles, and building clearer conditional sentences. Punctuating and separating the final family example would also improve readability.

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