Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is widely argued that the living rate of individuals is reached at peak in many countries. Some people believe that the rise in population creates several difficulties for the authorities of that country. While others claim that retirees play a vital role in society. I believe old adults are essential for every communities due to the fact that they have a lot of experience to cope with different situations.

To begin with, I want to share the experience of my own life. Elders are not burden for us. They are strong pillars who stand like a strong rock to stay away their off spring. Their role in society is crucial. For instance, a couple fo years ago in my hometown we faced a problem related to our lands. The young adults of my village demanding for some rights which were only applicable for men. Meanwhile, an old person of my society gave us a brilliant idea. This notion is proved to be very helpful fo us. By that occasion, we realized the worth of senior citizens.

There are some people who universally oppose that approach. They believe that elder people bring very hurdles with them. One of the main reason of their appraoch is that they want to live alone without their parents. ConsequePeontly, they argue that aging population bring governments into serious dilemma.

In conclusion, the living criteria of individulas have totally changed and due to this change people spent long-lasting lives. The elders play an effective role in society. Whereas the supporters of opposite viewpoint claim that an aging population have a lot of disadvantages to society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear general preference for older people, saying they are “essential” because of their experience, and the village example offers relevant support for their social value. However, the task asks you to weigh advantages against disadvantages, and this comparison is only partly addressed. The disadvantages are mentioned briefly as “hurdles” and a “serious dilemma” for governments, but you do not explain what these problems are or assess how they compare with the benefits. Your position also becomes less clear in the conclusion, which reports both viewpoints without restating how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Develop specific points on both sides and make your judgement consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion, and the example about the land dispute gives one paragraph a clear focus. Basic signposting such as “To begin with,” “For instance” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the broad structure. However, progression between ideas is limited: the first body paragraph focuses on one personal example, while the next introduces opposition without explaining the claimed government difficulties. Some links are awkward or unclear, including “By that occasion,” and “Whereas” begins a final sentence that does not connect smoothly to the preceding conclusion. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example or claim explicitly to your overall comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “senior citizens,” “authorities,” “retirees” and “population,” and the image of elders as “strong pillars” shows an effort to express their importance vividly. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate enough to make parts difficult to understand. For example, “living rate … reached at peak” does not clearly express increased life expectancy, and “stay away their off spring” is unclear. There are also spelling errors such as “fo,” “individulas” and “appraoch.” Aim for precise, natural phrases and check spelling; this will make your ideas easier to follow and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple sentences and some attempts at more complex structures, such as “I believe … due to the fact that…” and “While others claim…”. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, agreement, articles and verb forms. For example, “While others claim that retirees…” is a fragment, “Elders are not burden for us” is missing an article, and “an aging population have” has incorrect subject–verb agreement. The opening also joins contrasting ideas with a full stop and “While,” leaving the second part incomplete. Practise building complete sentences with accurate clauses, and check singular/plural agreement and articles when editing.

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