Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In many international countries,individual are now spending prolonged then ever before.most citizen say an aging demographics generate challenges for administrations.other public argue that there are positive out comes if population has more older people.Although this development offers several notable advantages, it also present certain drawbacks to government. this eassy will examin both sides before arguing that senior people needs more attention from government in case of health,they need money and specialist to takr care of their self that cause

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You introduce the topic and signal that you will consider both sides, then indicate a concern about older people needing government support for healthcare and care. However, the response does not develop either the advantages or disadvantages, and it does not clearly answer how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The final phrase, “that cause,” leaves the argument unfinished, with no supporting reasons or examples. The response also falls substantially short of the required minimum length, so there is not enough material to demonstrate a developed position. To improve, state your view directly, explain at least one benefit and one drawback, and support each with a relevant example before reaching a clear conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the opening presents the two sides, and “Although” introduces a contrast before the writer announces an intention to examine both. This gives the reader a general sense of the topic. However, the response remains a single, unfinished block rather than developing into clear paragraphs, and the ideas do not progress beyond the introduction. The linking is also limited; “Although” signals contrast, but the sentence that follows does not complete that contrast or establish a clear position. Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, each main argument, and the conclusion. Connect each point with clear references and transitions, and ensure every sentence is complete.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “aging demographics,” “administrations,” “notable advantages,” and “drawbacks,” which shows an effort to use language beyond very basic terms. However, several choices or forms are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “international countries,” “prolonged then ever before,” “positive out comes,” and “senior people needs more attention.” Spelling errors such as “eassy,” “examin,” and “takr” also reduce clarity. Because the response is very short, there is little evidence of a wider range or flexible use of vocabulary. Aim for accurate, natural collocations—for example, “people are living longer,” “an ageing population,” and “older people require support”—and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a complex opening structure with “Although,” and includes a relative clause in “specialist to takr care of their self,” showing some effort to vary sentence forms. However, control is inconsistent: “it also present” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “senior people needs” also mismatches subject and verb. The sentence beginning “Although this development…” is not completed with a clear main contrast, and the final clause ending “that cause” is unfinished. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, with several sentences running together after full stops. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, checking agreement, and using full stops to separate ideas. A wider range will be more effective when basic sentence boundaries are secure.

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