Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The given topic is very important. The topic is about, in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. Firstly, the statement is not wrong in many countries it is believed that people now living longer than ever before.

In many countries it is saying that now people living more than ever before. People saying that in their forefathers era there was no more facilities for easy life. In that era food was healthy and pure so, people was healthy and they were enjoying their life. But then population was increased and more food required for people.

So, the government was worried about this and then government was producing more food from different ways. Then after this, the bacteria was increased and they spread different kind of diseases and some of them are chronic diseases. At that time, there was no hospitals, no vaccines and not proper treatment. Some people survive in this situation but most of them died.

So, this is true that food was healthy in that era and there was not so much problems for people but people was not live longer. While nowadays, people eat unhealthy food and living there life with alot of enjoyment and live longer than ever before.

Lastly, some people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. I agree with this because elderly people has more experience about life problems. And they have solution of all the life problems. Elderly people is the the expensive gift from God.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response recognises the topic and gives a clear, though brief, view that elderly people bring benefits because of their life experience. However, it does not adequately answer the central question of whether these advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Much of the discussion concerns historical food, disease and healthcare, without clearly explaining how these points relate to the effects of an aging population on governments or society today. The claim that elderly people have solutions to “all the life problems” is asserted rather than supported with a relevant example. The response is also below the required 250 words: 229 words, with 44 words copied from the prompt excluded from the count. To improve, compare specific costs and contributions of older people and explain why one side outweighs the other.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic sequence of ideas, signalled by “Firstly,” “So,” “While nowadays,” and “Lastly,” and the response moves from historical conditions to a final point about elderly people’s experience. These markers provide some structure, but the progression is difficult to follow because the historical account does not clearly connect to the essay question. Several sentences repeat the idea that people live longer now, while the final paragraph introduces the benefits without developing them. Paragraphing is present, but the discussion would be clearer if each paragraph had one purpose: for example, government challenges, social benefits, and a conclusion comparing their importance. Use referencing and linking to show how each example supports your position, rather than relying mainly on repeated “So” transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small range of topic-related vocabulary, including “aging population,” “chronic diseases,” “vaccines,” and “experience,” so the main subject is generally recognisable. Some phrases also attempt to express evaluation, such as “expensive gift from God,” though this is not an appropriate collocation for the intended meaning. Vocabulary is often repetitive and imprecise: “people,” “life,” and “problems” recur, and “facilities for easy life” does not clearly describe the intended services or living conditions. There are also word-choice and spelling issues, such as “alot” and “forefathers era.” Build a more precise range for discussing pensions, healthcare costs, caregiving, and older people’s contributions, and check collocations so your meaning sounds natural and academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, including a cause-and-effect sequence beginning “But then population was increased and more food required for people.” However, control of sentence structure and basic forms is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. Examples include “people now living longer” instead of a complete verb phrase, “people was healthy” rather than subject–verb agreement, and “elderly people has more experience” rather than the correct plural verb. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “the the expensive gift” and the opening run-on sentence joining several claims. Practise accurate past and present verb forms, agreement, and complete sentence construction. Then use a few controlled complex sentences to explain causes and comparisons, checking punctuation before submission.

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