Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowdays,in various countries,individules are now live longer than ever before.Number of mankids are believe that aging popultion became tension for authorities while,others believe that more elder people in soceity there are lot of benifits, hense today everywhere helth facilities have increase so number of illness have treatment compare to past.Meanwhile the following essay stand with agreement to the aforementioned notion at a large extent and the reason to support with relevant examples will be illustrated in the forthcoming paragraph.

The first and predominate reason in my opinion,elder individuals create lot of probleams for goverment.In now authorities provide lot of a schemas and benifits for elder so it spent lots of money for them;However most of regious younger people pay taxes for their better development.In many countries elder people can not do work because of they do not have energy compare to past.For example in india officials spent lot of money for elder pansion rather development other factor than it may be waste of money,furthermore elder people have too much health issue and they can not work proper so it would not benifits our contries.

On the other hand,Number of mankids belive that many elder people have in society so it have a many benefits.In now elder people have lot of experience compare to young genrations because they suffer all of past thing.So they give helpful advice their child and grandchild,elder people always protect our society and number of individual trust them.For example if their child face loss in business,so they give advice and built their confidence.Moreover elder people also take care of a small childrean and their house,their desicion is very helpful for society.

In conclusion,I recapitulate my views that innumerable benifit outweight drawback is triggered by myriad factors of in society have elder people for their guidence,of which some are deliberate to fulfilour needs while the rest occur due to attensions

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and state a position: the introduction says you agree with the benefits “at a large extent,” and the conclusion says benefits outweigh drawbacks. The body paragraphs also give relevant points, including government spending and older people’s experience and childcare. However, the position is not consistently explained: the first body paragraph focuses on disadvantages, while the conclusion asserts that benefits outweigh them without comparing their importance. Several ideas remain unclear or under-developed, such as why pension spending is wasteful and how older people protect society. Develop each point with a clearer explanation or a specific example, and make the comparison between advantages and disadvantages explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the broad direction of the argument. You also use linking expressions such as “On the other hand,” “For example,” and “Moreover.” However, some connections are mechanical or unclear, and several sentences combine ideas without showing their relationship—for example, the opening moves from longer life expectancy to health facilities and then to the essay position. References such as “it” in “so it spent lots of money” are also difficult to follow. Use shorter, more clearly connected sentences and ensure each paragraph develops one main point in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “authorities,” “taxes,” “experience,” “confidence,” and “benefits,” and you try to use more formal expressions such as “In conclusion” and “For example.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate word choices are frequent enough to make parts of the argument difficult to understand, as in “individules,” “popultion,” “pansion,” and “attensions.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “elder people have too much health issue” and “built their confidence.” The range is limited and repeated words such as “elder people” and “lot of” reduce precision. Focus on accurate topic vocabulary and common collocations, checking spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because” and “if,” and you use some sentence-level punctuation to separate paragraphs and ideas. However, control of sentence structure and verb forms is inconsistent, and errors often make meaning hard to follow. Examples include “individuals are now live longer,” “elder people can not do work because of they do not have energy,” and “their decision is very helpful for society.” There are also problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “it have a many benefits.” Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then add subordinate clauses; check subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and punctuation when editing.

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