Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments, while, other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. i think the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages.

On the one hand, nowadays older people living longer, it is beneficial for young generation because older people have more experience and excellent desicions.

For example, techear who have experience their student that easy for students study, professional help their new workers. In addition older people have lot of time after time Thus, they can care of thier grandchildren and younge people can focus on their jobs, People and society have benefits from the adults

On the other hand, adults are living long they have face a many physical problems like healthcare problems. Hence, goverment focus on healthcare sectors that make financial problems. After retierment of older individuals, government spent too a much money on their pension. Government major fund can consume by pension and hospitals that waste of public fund, therefore goverment cannot foucs on other facilities. However, i belive older people beneficial for society, family and young generation that outweight drawbacks.

In addition, goverment should encourage by them by new opportunity who are able to work and funds like they can not face a problems. for instance, funds like LIC , Mutual funds etc that cut from their salaries and can use in future with a huge amount.

In conclude, older people living can create a financial problems, In contrast adults are benefical for younge people and society with their experience.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You state a clear overall view in the introduction—that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages—and you address both sides, mentioning older people’s experience, childcare, healthcare costs and pensions. However, the response only partially develops these points: the examples about experienced teachers and professionals are difficult to follow, and the final paragraph about LIC and mutual funds does not clearly explain how these schemes address the challenges of an aging population. The conclusion repeats your position but adds little synthesis. The response contains 226 words, so it is 24 words below the 250-word minimum; 43 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each main reason with a clear explanation and a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion, so the reader can identify the main sections. You also use signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In addition.” However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: the sentence beginning “For example, techear…” is hard to connect to the point about experience, and “In addition” introduces a point about financial schemes without a clear link to the preceding discussion. Some transitions are used mechanically or inaccurately, and the conclusion’s “In contrast” does not clearly express the relationship between its ideas. Organise each paragraph around one main point, then explain and illustrate it before moving on.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “aging population,” “healthcare,” “pension,” “experience,” and “public fund,” which helps communicate the subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, such as “excellent desicions,” “focus on healthcare sectors,” and “Government major fund can consume by pension.” Spelling errors, including “retierment,” “benefical,” and “outweight,” are also noticeable. These issues sometimes make the reader work to understand your intended meaning. Build a more precise set of expressions for discussing public spending, employment and family support, and check spelling and collocations when revising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “while” and a cause-and-effect link with “Hence.” However, the range is limited, and attempts at longer structures are often faulty. For example, “nowadays older people living longer” lacks a finite verb, while “they have face a many physical problems” has errors in verb form and article use. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in the long sentence beginning “In addition older people have lot of time.” These frequent errors can make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate subject–verb patterns, articles and verb forms, and use shorter sentences when a longer structure becomes hard to control.

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