Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Yes, I think many countries ,people are now living longer then ever the problem is population . some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. first problem is poluction effect on health and result is death, thats problem people are now living longer than ever before.So government take action against poluction and throwe garbage on the road and rivers. In our society not provided by a healty food, all these food are not naturaly groth. Government shoud provide a fresh food. On the other hand, the elderly provided invalulable social capital. Many grandparents play a crucial role in childcare, which provides essential support to working families. Additionally, many retired individuals possess vest experience and wisdom, which can be channeled into community service or mentorship roles, benefiting the younger generation and social fabric. In conclusion, although the economic pressures of an aging population are real, the social stability and experience provided by older citizans are immense assets. Therefore, the advantages can outweigh the disadvantages if managed with proactive government policies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

Your response gives a clear overall view in the conclusion: you recognise economic pressures but argue that older people’s social contributions can outweigh them. The points about grandparents supporting childcare and retired people sharing experience are relevant and include some explanation. However, the discussion of disadvantages is unclear: the opening shifts to pollution and food quality without explaining how these are consequences of an aging population. The advantages receive more attention, but the comparison is not sufficiently developed, and the response does not fully address the question. The response is 154 words, below the required 250 words; the 18 words copied from the prompt are excluded. Develop both sides with relevant reasons and examples, and explain why one side is more significant.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response, with an opening, a contrast introduced by “On the other hand,” and a concluding sentence beginning “In conclusion.” The ideas about grandparents and retired people are grouped together, so the reader can follow this part of the argument. However, the opening sentences are difficult to follow, and the connection between pollution, food, and population ageing is not made clear. The response also moves abruptly from these points to the benefits, with no developed paragraph structure to guide the comparison. Use separate paragraphs for the disadvantages and advantages, and make each paragraph’s main point explicit before adding explanation and an example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-appropriate vocabulary, including “aging population,” “social capital,” “childcare,” “community service,” and “mentorship roles.” These phrases help express the benefits of older people and show some range beyond basic everyday language. However, much of the wording is basic or inaccurate, and spelling errors such as “poluction,” “healty,” “invalulable,” and “citizans” make the response less clear and polished. Some expressions are also imprecise, such as “vest experience” and “fresh food,” which do not clearly communicate the intended point in context. Build a more accurate range for discussing public costs, healthcare, pensions, and social contributions, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a few longer structures, particularly “Many grandparents play a crucial role in childcare, which provides essential support to working families” and the conditional phrase “if managed with proactive government policies.” These are understandable and show some ability to connect ideas. However, the opening contains frequent sentence-boundary and punctuation problems, for example, “Yes, I think many countries ,people are now living longer then ever the problem is population.” There are also errors in verb forms and sentence construction, as in “So government take action” and “the elderly provided invalulable social capital.” Most sentences rely on simple patterns, and these errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Practise forming complete sentences and checking subject–verb agreement and verb tense.

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