Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, It is largely argued that either the elderly people are beneficial for society or they put an extra burden on the governments. while some people believe that an aging population has detrimental concequences on the economy, I personaly believes that their presence has numerous benefits which will never be replicate. In this essay, I will explain the reasons why I strongly trust that the advantages of having more elderly people are extremely outweigh the disadvantages it may have.

On the one hand, presence of more elderly people have several drawbacks. First and foremost, it exerts an extra pressure on the government, since the administration has to facilitate them in every possible manner. Additionally, the aged individuals are not capable to work, therefore the government have to give them subsidizes, which takes millions of dollars annually and affects the budget of other sectors. Moreover, the elderly people who retired from the goverment jobs have given huge amount of money as a retirement and as a pension which added an extra burden on the government.

On the other hand, elderly people in the society offers several advantages which outweigh its negative impacts. Firstly, they experience hugh difficulties in their life, so they guide the adolescents in advance about the upcoming events and help them to face these hardships with courage. Secondly, they help to maintain the culture of our forefathers and transfer the traditional festives to other generation, which allows us to stay connected with our roots. Furthermore, aging population also maintains the social connection and our relationship with others. A survey conducted by the University of East Anglia's graduates in the year 2025 explained itself that 90% of youngsters consider their grandparents advice most useful and believe that their presence is beneficial for them.

In conclusion, from my perspective aged people are always work for the betterment of the society, therefore there presence will be beneficial for the government rather than affecting them. Additionally, the government should need to work on their policies and take elders as an asset.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you argue that the benefits of an aging population outweigh the costs, and the essay addresses both sides of the question. The drawbacks—pressure on public spending, subsidies and pensions—are relevant, while guidance for younger people and the preservation of traditions support your case for benefits. The grandparents’ survey example also helps make the argument more concrete. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for instance, the claim that older people maintain social connections needs a clearer account of how this happens and why it outweighs the financial costs. The conclusion restates your view, but could weigh the two sides more explicitly. More developed explanation and support would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” makes the progression easy to follow, and the points within each body paragraph are generally grouped by topic. Some linking is mechanical, however, particularly the repeated use of “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Moreover.” A few connections between ideas are also unclear: the point about maintaining social connections is introduced without showing how it follows from the preceding discussion of cultural traditions. The final sentence adds a recommendation about government policy rather than fully synthesising the comparison. Use more varied transitions and clearer references between claims to improve flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “detrimental,” “extra burden,” “retirement,” “traditional,” and “betterment.” This gives you enough language to discuss public costs and the social contributions of older people. However, noticeable spelling, word-form and collocation problems reduce precision, as in “concequences,” “personaly,” “hugh difficulties,” “traditional festives,” and “are extremely outweigh.” Some expressions are also unnatural or vague, such as “facilitate them in every possible manner” and “explained itself.” These choices do not prevent the reader from understanding your main argument, but they make parts of it less fluent. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully, especially when using less familiar vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “since,” “therefore,” and “which,” and most of the argument remains understandable. However, errors occur across the response and sometimes make sentences difficult to process. Examples include “I personaly believes,” “presence of more elderly people have,” “the government have to give,” and “elderly people in the society offers,” where subject–verb agreement is not controlled. There are also problems with articles, plurals and sentence boundaries, such as the lowercase “while” after a full stop and “there presence” in the conclusion. The sentence beginning “A survey conducted…” is awkwardly constructed. Review agreement and article use, and build complex sentences around a clear main clause before adding supporting information.

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